MATTERS 8 ways for working parents to make family life happier

Balancing work and life can be tough, but author and working mum Christine Armstrong has some tips for getting it right. ORE mums than ever are returning to work after having children – and discovering that getting the balance righ t can be very tough as they battle stress in the workplace with juggling family life.

In the last four decades, the number of working mothers has risen from half of all mothers to nearly three-quarters (72%), according to the Institute for Fiscal Studies.

And yet Health and Safety Executive data shows the most stressed group at work is professional women aged between 35 and 44, because of lack of support, sexism, home/work imbalance, and family needs.

Mother-of-three Christine Armstrong experienced such stress after returning to work in advertising following the birth of her first child.

Her own challenges, and subsequently talking to other working mums about their work/ life balance, led her to the conclusion that society isn’t designed to support women with children and a career.

“Men and women are struggling, but women are having a worse time – and are more stressed – because so many are trying to live up to stereotypes of what a good mum looks like while also holding down a job,” says Christine, the co-founder of a communications consultancy, and contributing editor of Management Today.

“My intention was to show that everyone who feels they’re drowning in work and kids is completely normal,” she explains.

Many companies are trying to improve things but Christine says we need wider societal changes too, including good universal childcare, sensible working hours and supportive working cultures.

“But there are some things that happier parents seem to do or think compared to those who are really up against it. You may not be able to do them all, but a few may work for you. There are no silver bullets (I am so sorry) but I hope they help a little,” she advises.

Here are Christine’s eight tips to help make being a working parent really work: CHRISTINE says there’s no need for parents to suppress their maternal and paternal feelings just because they have careers.

“Society is stuck between the old world, where women were home and dads worked and the children were cared for, and a new world where most parents work longer and longer hours and children must be cared for during and around work. It’s time we made decisions that enable this transition not to feel like a crisis in every working family across the land.” CHRISTINE points out that new parents may realise society isn’t set up to enhance family life, but to increase economic productivity, and says: “Know that and use it to defend yourself against every negative thought about not being good/capable/ hard-working enough. “We don’ t have to apologise or feel guilty for being parents and workers or, even worse, hide that we have kids,” she stresses. “And never judge your own life against the imagined and idealised life you assume others have. The more we dig, the messier everyone’s lives look.” BE VERY honest about who you are and what each of you (if you have a partner) believes is important, advises Christine.

“If your burning ambition is to be CEO, then set up your family and structure to support that ambition,” she says. “Equally, if you want to be very engaged in the daily lives of your kids, then set your family up that way.

“But in either case, be honest about who you are and know that it will change as you go, and allow space for that change.” ACTIVELY plan the amount of time and the place that both parents spend working.

“Don’t just tumble into our crazy always-on workplace with a baby on each hip and hope you make it to their 18th birthday without a breakdown. You might not,” Christine warns.