Watch out for that octopus and avoid crash course in road safety

I HAD to smile when I read that a 49-year-old bloke in Devon had been arrested on suspicion of drug driving after he overturned his car because, he said, he was trying to avoid an octopus on the A381.

Years ago, a pal crashed his car going home from the Examiner office one night and told the police he had swerved to avoid a black dog.

The police duly laughed their socks off and told him the black dog was the most used excuse for having an ‘accident.’

Silly excuses have been making police and public laugh ever since Jasper Carrot launched his comedy career on motor accident claim forms. He never blamed an octopus but here’s a few – that may or may not be true – that still make me laugh:

“Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was five minutes early.”

“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”

“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”

“Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”

“The bloke was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”

“I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.”

“The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.”

“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”

Well, it would, wouldn’t it?