Why I’m saying knickers to new men’s underwear

ROD Stewart wore girlfriend Britt Ekland’s satin knickers underneath his satin trousers when he was on stage in the 1970s.

Like Rod, I was a bit of a lingerie trail blazer myself, because there was a time when I wore my wife Maria’s thong. All in the name of research, I might add, after an office debate about male and female underwear. The discussion was whether underwear should be chosen because it was attractive or as comfortable as Bridget Jones’s big knickers.

To be fair, I hadn’t thought about the subject in years until I read that men’s lingerie was on the brink of a breakthrough in the fashion stakes. I was intrigued at the news. Could I, perhaps, be finally persuaded to switch from black boxer shorts with Lycra to silk or satin?

What a disappointment when I saw what was on offer in an internet search.

These new designs for blokes come in silk and satin, plus buttons and bows and the sort of corsetry you might find in Widow Twankey’s dressing up box for fetish panto nights.

By comparison, thong was normal, even though it wasn’t.

Well I didn’t think so, and that was back in the day when I was ready to tackle any journalistic challenge.

I slipped into a thong one lunchtime at home and went off back to work. Even though it felt like I was sitting on a cheese slicer, I was determined to at least last an afternoon.

My discomfort must have shown because female colleagues kept enquiring about my health. I said I was fine, instead of saying: “I am being cut in half by my wife’s thong. Would you kindly send for an ambulance and a litre can of calamine lotion?”

At five o’clock, I drove home, went upstairs and ripped off the offending garment. When I told my wife she couldn’t stop laughing.

“So you won’t be wearing my knickers again in a while?”

“Definitely not,” I said, and the vow still stands.

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I was intrigued at the news. Could I, perhaps, be finally persuaded to switch from black boxer shorts to silk

or satin?