Summer’s i-cummin in - get that pool out
LOCKDOWN has caused a rise in demand for back garden children’s play equipment. Trampolines have been bouncing off the shelves, along with swings and climbing frames. Now that summer is i-cummin in, watch out for paddling pools, garden furniture and barbecues being snapped up as well.
A pool is just the thing to keep children from getting bored and make neighbouring families jealous if Argos have sold out in another COVID-19 rush of pandemic buying.
When my daughters were of an age, we had the biggest pool possible so that, when they were fed up of it, I could use it to float peacefully on a lilo, day-dreaming I was in the South of France.
Just one word of warning for a large pool, though. Make sure you blow it up with a pump because lung power alone is insufficient if you wish to avoid pain, aggravation and temper loss.
“Muuum. Dad’s using rude words.”
Health and safety should always be at the forefront of any outdoor activities, if only to restrict the number of times the kids push granny on the bouncy castle, or curtail attempts to beat the trampoline record of most tuck jumps before being sick, and to be on hand if young participants in that grand old English game of croquet decide the score can only be settled with the mallets provided, much to your wife’s displeasure.
“You bought them a game with mallets?”
There is always an element of risk in any garden activity. Swingball can hurtle back at the perfect height to catch 10-yearolds on the head and dads in the nether regions, boules can leave unsightly dents in the lawn and blind man’s bluff should never be played near the paddling pool. Oh, go on then, just this once.
Quite the most dangerous game available was one I discovered in America decades ago. The afternoon was pleasant, the lawn inviting and our relatives brought out garden darts. Hoops were laid out as targets and the foot long darts, with metal spikes on the end, were lobbed towards them. Oh how our relatives laughed as potentially lethal weapons were hurled haphazardly around.
“See how high I can throw this one,” had me grabbing my daughter and running for cover.
After due consideration, a paddling pool is probably the safest piece of play equipment now that summer is i-cummin in, which is my clever way of linking back to the beginning and the 13th century song that describes how animals react to hot weather. As you fill the pool, you can home-school children in Middle English:
Summer is i-cummin in, lhude sing cuccu (summer is coming in, loudly sing cuckoo), and go on to quote the British Library website: “The Middle English text includes many familiar animal names such as cuccu (cuckoo), lomb (lamb) and cu (cow). Famously the bucke (buck) is said to farteth: the first record of the verb ‘to fart.’”
“Muuum. Dad’s teaching us rude words.”