Becks suits a walking stick, but as for Dom...

DAVID Beckham has made country walking sticks fashionable, just as I’m confined to an exercise bike. For years I took a morning walk through woods near where I live, wielding a three-foot stick with a cleft at the end for the thumb, which is particularly useful when posing in nature.

But those days came to an end after spinal surgery earlier this year, just when I fancied myself in a rustic Becks outfit of woolly jumper and designer flat cap.

My pangs of jealousy were, however, alleviated when I saw photos of prime ministerial adviser Dominic Cummings hefting a countryside stick through central London.

Becks makes it a cool accessory. Dom looks like a Hobbit in search of the ring forged by the Dark Lord Sauron to gain power over the citizens of Middle Earth.

To be honest, I thought I might look more like Dom than Becks, if I limped around Huddersfield leaning on my three-foot prop.

“Is that the bloke who writes for the Examiner?”

“No, it’s Gollum from Lord of the Rings.”

My stick was a walking aid on rough terrain, pushed aside foliage and could be poked into strange places, such as a wasps’ nest, although I was unaware of what it was at the time. I never knew I could run that fast.

But I’m not sure of its benefit in an urban jungle of pavements and zebra crossings, unless used to trip up anyone pushing ahead of you for the queue to Primark.

So why does Dom need one in London? It can’t be to keep photographers at a safe distance, because I’m sure he enjoys the same Press attention as Johnny Depp.

As a genuine matter of curiosity, why do walkers carry sticks, reminiscent of those used by skiers for momentum and balance, as they traverse villages and towns without a hint of snow? Is Dom training for cross-country skiing at Barnard Castle during the next lockdown in November? Or should I just get on my bike and mind my own business?