This beautiful game still has me in the pink
It’s the best sound... bar none!
EVERYTHING in the house these days comes with a remote control.
There is one for the TV, another for Sky, a third for the Amazon Firestick, another for the radio and CD player and one for the four candles we have on the mantelpiece. And yes, we have ‘four candles’, made from wax but with a battery operated flame effect, in memory of The Two Ronnies at their funniest and finest.
Our latest remote is for a soundbar which we got because we often find it difficult to hear dialogue in mumbled drama productions. It has a bass control and settings for music, dialogue or movies. I
Efirst used it on the movie setting for a Jason Statham action film. The sound was okay during ordinary scenes but went kapow at the first shoot-out and explosions and brought my wife Maria running downstairs saying: “What’s happening outside?” and wondering if Covid had turned into World War Three. I couldn’t immediately reply as I was pinned in my chair by the wall of sound. Since then, I keep it on the dialogue setting, which allows comparison between the bawdy words of 18th century Harlots and the earthy modern language of Gangs of London with crisp enunciation. Or maybe I
VERY Premier League goal this season has been analysed to reveal that players with pink football boots have scored the most.
They hit the back of the net 626 times, led by Jamie Vardy of Leicester, who wore white and pink boots, and smacked in 23. And before anyone starts alleging pink is for girls, other top scorers who favour the colour include Danny Ings, Mo Salah and Marcus Rashford.
Nike was top of the scoring charts, followed by Adidas. The research was by NetVoucherCodes. co.uk.
Black boots, in case you were wondering, scored 36 goals, which was probably my total for a decade.
Of course, when I first played in the olden days, you nailed studs into the soles of boots that could have seen service down the pit and heaven help you íf you had to play on a hard ground, baked in summer or frozen in winter. The nails dug through into your feet.
The balls were leather and laced and became as heavy as cannonballs in the wet and I lost a tooth after taking one full in the face when I was 17.
Stuff that for a game of soldiers. I never headed another ball and thereafter declared football is a game meant to be played with the feet: the clue is in the name. should use the mute button. This, I understand, is one way in which remote controls have been used by harassed mums to control unruly kids.
“Stop it now, or I’ll mute you,” is the threat, as they point the remote like a Smith and Wesson .38. If that doesn’t work, they may add the ultimate sanction: “One more word and I’ll delete you.” Joking, of course.
Better still, and without risking being reported for child cruelty, mums could get a soundbar with a movie setting and play Jason Statham at full volume. That will keep them pinned to the wall for the duration.
And, of course, back then, football boots were like Ford motor cars. You could have any colour you liked as long as it was black. There was no other choice, even when they first became low cut and streamlined. The most you could expect was a go-faster stripe along the side. In black.
Football was always the supreme sport for me – playing, watching or supporting. Like thousands of teenagers around the country, I supported my local team. Manchester United were a bus ride away from my home in Timperley, and Old Trafford was a field of dreams. I would even attend midweek to watch the reserves play in the Central League.
It was the beautiful game, even back then, no matter the weather conditions, the state of the pitch, the lack of changing rooms, the quality of the ball or the colour of the boots. And it still is, despite the diving and histrionics, or the fact that two of my heroes, Jamie Vardy and Marcus Rashford, wear pink boots.