OF THE BEST
when children are little, they are largely at the mercy of adults as to their daily activities, but their reactions to different environments impact whether the activities are repeated or not.
If you take your child to a museum and they love it, for example, you’re likely to take them to more museums. But if they misbehave at the museum, you’re less likely to seek out more museum bonding experiences.
“Through their reactions to certain environments, children indirectly shape the experiences the adults in their life seek out for them,” says Danielle. “As they get older, children directly select environments that match their genetic temperaments.”
This can mean that risk-taking kids climb to the top of tall trees and risktaking adolescents hang out at concerts and bars, while children who are more anxious or introverted prefer to spend more time at home or participating in small group activities. “Children’s genes influence their development in part by influencing the environments they select,” explains Danielle.
5.Children’s genetic dispositions can be tuned up or down by parents
By understanding the way children’s genes shape their behaviour, parents can work with their kids to accentuate their natural strengths, and avoid potential challenges that come with different dispositions, says Danielle.
“This is perhaps key for parents: our children’s genes aren’t destiny,” she stresses. “They are born with natural dispositions, but we can play a role in how those dispositions unfold.”
She says that by understanding the good, and the not-so-good associated with different temperaments, and the gene-environment feedback loop, parents can help guide their children better.
For example, children whose genes lead them to be quicker to frustration, anger, or fear need different disciplinary strategies to teach them to manage their disposition, she explains. “But parents frequently mistake their child’s behaviour as being naughty, rather than originating in their child’s wiring, and respond by implementing consequences in ways that make the behaviour worse,” she says.
Mismatches between children’s dispositions and their environments are also frequently at the heart of family tension, she points out. For example, children differ in levels of extraversion from a very young age, and throwing an introvert into an unfamiliar setting with many new people can be overwhelming for them.
“But children’s developing brains don’t have the ability to explain why they’re so upset – they just respond with tears or tantrums.
“Understanding our children’s temperaments, and the needs of children with different dispositions, helps parents understand the why behind their behaviour,” explains Danielle, “allowing them to put practices in place to ease the day-to-day stressors.”
The Child Code: The Science Behind Your Child’s True Nature and How to Nurture It, is published by Vermilion, £16.99. Available now.