Tragedy of teen found dead after telling mum ‘don’t worry’
HEARTBROKEN MOTHER IS SHARING HIS STORY IN HOPE OF HELPING OTHERS
THE mum of a teenager who took his own life earlier this year has made an emotional plea for other young people to seek help with mental health issues.
Ruben Ferrol took his own life aged just 18 in April, which has left his family and friends devastated.
His family has launched the community group Ruben’s Voice to help raise awareness of mental health among young people and the need to admit issues and not bottle it all up.
Ruben was found dead by emergency services at his home in Clarence Avenue, off Delhi Street in east Hull, on April 14.
Mum Katy Smith, of Hedon, was speaking after an inquest into her son’s death held on Monday which concluded his death was suicide.
But Katy is also warning of the dangers of cannabis and her fears many young people are using the class B drug to “self-medicate”.
Speaking after the inquest, she said: “We want to raise awareness and ensure young people, particularly young lads, seek help before it is too late.
“I want to stop people thinking they need to ‘man up.’
“I don’t just want to help those who feel suicidal, I want to prevent people becoming suicidal in the first place by confiding in loved ones and seeking help early.
“I don’t want to see any other families go through what we have and end up at an inquest.”
Katy says she almost feels a lone voice in expressing grave concerns over the impact of cannabis.
“I also want to warn people about cannabis,” she said. “It seems to be played down by so many people and a lot of people seem to think it is fine to smoke weed.
“I don’t want it legalised, but if that means cannabis can be regulated then maybe that should be looked at. But cannabis took the Ruben out of my son.
“People were selling cannabis to a child. My son was only 16 at the time. You cannot turn a blind eye to that.
“I feel Ruben was duped into using cannabis in a bid to selfmedicate. Those who sold it to him claimed it would calm him down and help him, but it ended up doing the complete opposite.”
Despite the pain of losing Ruben, the family have thrown themselves into a campaign to raise awareness about mental health among young people.
The family held the Ruben’s Voice concert at Hedon Primary School in August with a host of musical acts, motivational speakers, dance bands and DJS.
Ruben’s Voice aims to break the stigma around talking about feeling mentally unwell and asking for, or accepting help when offered.
The event also saw various mental health charities attend to promote the services available.
Katy said: “We have set up a community group called Ruben’s Voice and we are in the process of registering it as a charity.
“We were kindly given money and gifts after Ruben died, but we did not just want to take it for ourselves and wanted to use it to help raise awareness of mental health issues among young people.
“We had around 1,600 people attend throughout the day. It was a way of saying goodbye to Ruben because we could only have 30 people at his funeral due to Covid restrictions.
“It was beautiful, with elderly people to babies and everyone in between coming along.”
There are further events due to be held, including Ruben’s friends holding a boxing event next month after they were inspired to join the Eastside Gym and take up boxing to avoid mental health problems.
“It is great to see Ruben’s friends take up boxing,” Katy said. “It gives them a sense of purpose. We just want people to know suicide is not the only option. There is help out there.
“Losing Ruben was such a waste. He was a normal person and so many people knew and loved him. Seeking help should be normalised among young people.
“If we get an infection we go to the doctor for medication. This should be no different if we suffer a mental health problem.
“There is still a stigma around mental health. I often asked Ruben if he was okay and he always told me not to worry. We even played
Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds at his funeral with the message ‘don’t worry, everything will be alright.’”
The teenager, himself a talented musician, dancer and singer, left Katy, her partner Matt, and four younger siblings, when he died.
“I know Ruben was not an angel, but he was kind and intelligent, but there were things in life that dragged him down,” Katy said.
“But he was almost through all this. He had held down his job for a year and had saved up to buy his own house.
“He was a depressed young man who was self-medicating. He was down but it seemed he had managed to pull himself back up.
“We’d had a horrid few years but we felt we had climbed the mountain. I felt Ruben would thank me in the years after, but now that chance has gone.
“He had lots of friends and family who would help him in a heartbeat. Ruben was very clever and he should have gone to university.
“He was a very talented musician. He could rap and also had a great voice. He also played guitar and keyboards. He could play amazing flamenco tunes on the guitar. If he heard something he could just play it.”
Ruben was born in Luton but moved to East Yorkshire when he was young. He was the oldest of five children. He went to South Holderness College and obtained good grades and was academically gifted.
Ruben went to Hull College to study travel and tourism, but he started hanging out with a group of people who his mum said proved to be a bad influence.
In her statement read out at the inquest, Katy said: “When Ruben went into Year 9 there was a change. He stopped playing football and started turning up to school late. I think he fell out with some people in his tutor group.
“He then went to Hull College but fell into the wrong crowd and started taking cannabis. One person told him it would help relax him, but I believe my son was groomed into doing drugs.
“I tried to keep a tight rein on his behaviour. I felt we were losing Ruben. He was with the wrong crowd and making wrong decisions.”
Ruben’s mental health was beginning to deteriorate and he struggled with mental health issues through 2018 and 2019.
But things began looking up in 2020 as he managed to move away from the gang he had been hanging around with and got a job as an apprentice butcher.
Ruben wanted his own place and began saving up. He eventually found a place in Clarence Avenue, off Delhi Street, off Hedon Road in Hull, which he rented.
In the statement Katy said: “Things were starting to look up. He was very proud of his house and things were going the right way.”
But Katy became worried when she could not get hold of Ruben when she wanted to take his laundry round on April 10.
After trying to call, text and contact him on social media, she went round but got no answer.
On Wednesday, April 14, emergency services were called and the fire service broke into the property and found Ruben dead in his bedroom.
In concluding Ruben died as the result of suicide, Area Coroner Lorraine Harris praised his family.
She said: “Despite all his troubles, Ruben was a genuinely lovely young man and his family did all they could to support him.
“His parents sought appropriate help and their support never stopped. I note someone told Ruben cannabis would help him relax, but it did the opposite and exacerbated his mental health issues.
“I also know the family are doing wonderful things in his memory, raising awareness about mental health and the dangers of cannabis despite dealing with their grief.”
Katy does take comfort from knowing the family’s campaign in Ruben’s memory is helping others.
“We have lost Ruben and we will never get him back, but I want there to be a positive legacy in his memory,” she said.
“Through the work we have done to raise awareness, I have been told of three young people we have helped and inspired to get help.
“That doesn’t take away the hurt but provides some comfort. I cannot let anyone else go through what we have in the last few months.
“This pain for us does not stop. It will go on forever. I will miss Ruben’s smile and see him playing with his sisters and brother.
“He was a joker and I will miss his singing and dancing. I will miss him just being Ruben.
“But we are also very proud of him. It is just so sad he did not feel he could come forward and tell us his problems.”
The next event being held by Ruben’s Voice is the boxing event at the Eastside Gym in Staithes Road, east Hull, which will take place at 7pm on November 13.
The event is free and people can just turn up on the night. For more details, visit the Ruben’s Voice Facebook page.
We have lost Ruben and we will never get him back, but I want there to be a positive legacy in his memory
Katy Smith