Heartbreaking ‘last first dance’
COUPLE RENEWED THEIR VOWS
A TERMINALLY ill cancer patient and his wife of 35 years have renewed their vows in a special ceremony at home and even managed a tearful and beautiful last “first dance” together.
Dave Hare, 68, and his wife Helen Hare, 54, first met in 1986 but Helen says she made Dave wait to get married until 1999.
The pair live in Hedon where Helen is now taking time off work as a nurse at Hull Royal to care for Dave, who has untreatable cancer.
With the support of cancer charity Macmillan and a network of friends both new and old, the pair were able to show their love for each other on one more special day.
Helen said: “We’ve been together for 35 years, since 1986, but we didn’t get married until 1999. I made him wait a bit like you should.
“Last year in December I got Covid19 at work despite working on a secure ward and I brought it home, at the time there was just me and Dave.
“Covid really knocked it out of him, things have got a lot harder for us both from then on, we recovered from the virus but I started accepting a bit more help.”
Helen has always worked as a nurse, first as a specialist for patients with disabilities and learning difficulties before returning more recently to general nursing at Hull Royal and Castle Hill Hospital.
Dave worked in shipping for the majority of his early career before moving on to work in Hull Prison as a member of support staff.
Dave gave up work due to his declining health while Helen has had to step away from her duties to care for Dave in his final few months.
The pair decided they wanted to renew the wedding vows they took 35 year ago and did just that in a ceremony on Friday, October 22.
Helen said: “We wanted to renew our vows to each other, with Dave having the terminal cancer we wanted to have a day with the most important people in our lives nearby.
“It was everything that we could have wanted from the day, the reverend was organised through Macmillan and is someone that we know well and has been supporting us in recent months.
“If I could, I would do it over and over again because it was perfect. It was just what we wanted.”
Dave had his first bout of cancer around 22 years and now has three types of the disease attacking his body but the source is still unknown meaning it has been difficult to fight.
In his current condition it has been agreed that Dave is too weak to receive treatment and is on palliative end of life care at home.
Helen said that being a nurse she had found it difficult to accept help from others in caring for Dave and it had just been the two of them for a long time.
But after their brush with coronavirus at the start of the year she had begun to welcome more help from friends and organisations.
For the special day itself the pair kept the ceremony small but had support from a wide range of friends including one who loaned Helen a dress for the day.
Helen said: “I have to say the NHS have been amazing and have supported me in needing to step away from work to care for Dave.
“They’ve been really good and Macmillan have offered us so much support too helping us put together one more special day together.
“I’ve welcomed more friends into my life recently too and we wouldn’t have made it this far without the help and care that they have shown towards us.
“We’re looking back and I have only happy memories, that is what I’m holding on to, and this extra special day has given us one more together.”