Hull Daily Mail

Dove House helps family to grieve after tragic death

SUPPORT GROUP HELPED FAMILY

- By DEBORAH HALL deborah.hall@reachplc.com @Deborahhal­l15

AN East Yorkshire dad has spoken about the support he and his young sons received from Hull’s Dove House Hospice following the tragic death of his wife from breast cancer.

Lee chose Children’s Grief Awareness Week to highlight the help that the hospice gave to himself and his sons, Alfie, ten, and Ernie, seven, after the devastatin­g loss of Vicki.

“Without the Children’s Bereavemen­t Group at Dove House there is very little else to help children like mine cope with losing their mum,” said Lee.

“My wife Vicki had secondary breast cancer and the hospice made sure we had all the support we needed to honor our wishes of Vicki dying at home.

“We felt supported every step of the way and not once did we feel pressured to come to the hospice for her final days.

“Our boys were only very young when their mum died. They had so many questions, questions like why did this happen to me?

“They felt alone in their grief and I didn’t know how to answer them, I didn’t know how to help them. I had no option but to bury my head in the sand, I knew we needed to learn to live with what life had thrown at us.

“We were plunged into a situation we didn’t want, no one wants. But, Dove House lightened the load.”

Lee said: “The boys started attending the Children’s Bereavemen­t Groups at the hospice and, wow, what a difference it made, not just for them but for me also, I had someone to help me answer the questions no parent ever dreams they will have to answer.

“I was also grieving my wife and the life we had planned to share to together as a family.

“Now it was just me and the boys.

Dove House showed us how to move forward.

“Both boys came out of the sessions feeling stronger, Dove House gave them an environmen­t away from home, completely detached, where they could talk openly, to know they are not alone and unfortunat­ely it isn’t just them it happens to.

“At the group they met other children just like them, who had lost someone close to them and had the same questions.

“Alfie is sensitive, kind-hearted and considerat­e but wasn’t comfortabl­e talking about his mum. But after the sessions he would say he felt ‘stronger’ and he can now talk about his mum and feel happy.

“Ernie has become able to manage his own emotions better, more than any seven-year-old should have to. For much of his life, his mum has been ill or dying; the Children’s Bereavemen­t Groups have helped him see beyond that.

“The groups are invaluable, I am eternally thankful to Dove House for all of the help the hospice has shown us.

A spokespers­on for Dove House thanked, Lee, Alfie and Ernie, for sharing their story.

“We hope by reading their journey that other families like Lee’s reach out for help and join us at our Children’s Bereavemen­t Groups or seek help from our Family Support Team,” the spokespers­on said.

“And please remember you don’t need to have any prior connection or relationsh­ip with the hospice for you to access our services. Please, if your young person is struggling with your grief, give us a call on 01482 785745.”

Our boys were only very young when their mum died. They had so many questions, like ‘why did this happen to me’? They felt alone in their grief and I didn’t know how to answer them Lee, dad to Alfie and Ernie

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Vicki, Ernie, Alfie and Lee

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