You can say that again!
OUR FAVOURITE RECENT SOAP QUOTES…
“Auntie Kat, well…
She’s going to be coming here soon, but not like that. You know Arthur’s robot that he loves? You know when he runs out of batteries, he stops moving and all his lights go off? Well, Auntie Kat… She’s stopped moving and all her lights aren’t working any more.” It’s a beautiful metaphor. Happily, Kat is anything but inanimate – and, especially in that new bra, her lights are on full beam. “Megan’s coming over. She’s had a tip-off about Meghan Markle’s frock and reckons she can get me a dead ringer. She’s got insider knowledge into Prince Harry’s pants as well.” We really don’t want to think about Bob Hope getting into Prince Harry’s pants. “As a reward for your virtue, a little trip: yacht shopping for me. She’s called Violet. I want you to head over to Anglesey and bid on her.”
“A trip to Snowdonia, how will you live with the shame?” We don’t know who the Emmerdale writers are hanging out with if they think real people speak like this! “Practice my birth position? I’ll be flat on my back, thank you. Gas and air in one hand, curling tongs in the other, bubbles chilling at me feet. Preferably pink. Put that in your action plan.” We look forward to seeing Eva screaming out “Oh! God! No!” between swigs of Rosé Frizzante. “I’m not the only one who will be impressed by the new, butch Chesney. I’m sure the ladies will soon come flocking.” “Well, every woman loves a bad boy. How else do you explain my success over the years?” We’ll bet that the only edgy thing Brian has ever done is to not sort his mixed recycling properly.