Hits & Misses

WHAT’S HIT THE BULLSEYE RECENTLY – AND WHAT’S FALLEN WIDE OF THE MARK?

Zeedan’s exit was so sudden and pointless! Why give him his own restaurant only to suddenly pack him off for a new life in London? We don’t think this fella is

Gerry’s Uncle Terry at all. We think he’s

Michelle’s stalker Tom from Eastenders – moving on to a new patch. sassy new wave and highlights really suit her. She’s like a surly Kate Middleton.

There are 60ft neon advertising screens in Piccadilly Circus that are more subtle than the look of guilt plastered across Kate’s face when she was quizzed by the police. We’re surprised she wasn’t cuffed there and then. WTF?! Hayley has been hiding a pregnancy bump? And Alfie bloomin’ Moon is the father? Blurk! Have we eaten too many Haribo and started to hallucinate?

No one does ‘howl of infinite despair’ quite like Grace in Hollyoaks.

We were worried we were going to fall in!

After watching a character grow up on a soap, it’s really wrong when you suddenly realise they’re all-kinds-of-hot,

rocking a beard and a threepiece. Really, really wrong! Not a soul has twigged that Lachlan seems to be coping remarkably well following his third significant bereavement this year. No wonder so many people get away with murder in Emmerdale – the locals are all too wrapped up in themselves to notice! Kudos to Eastenders for ticking its trademark ‘current affairs’ box, sacrificing a sunny weekend to film these Royal Wedding scenes. It helps Walford to feel very joined-up and real. You’re not a true member of the Eastenders family until Kat has jiggled the twins in your face. Welcome, Ted! It tickled us to hear that members of the public thought they’d spotted Phelan ‘doing karaoke at a pub in Luton’ and ‘hanging out at a pet shop in Hull’. And we’ve found the proof!