You can say that again!

OUR FAVOURITE RECENT SOAP QUOTES…

“Ibiza, eh?

Oh, I could tell you some stories about Ibiza. Like the day I saw my bikini bottoms drifting out to sea.” They were last sighted in 1987, floating past Cleethorpes Pier.

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’ll kick your head in.” As the old saying goes.

“I always knew it would end in disgrace. I wonder what photo they’ll use of me? I hope they choose that nice one of me on the town hall steps, in the green dress and the knee-high boots.” Never mind Mayor. Even in defeat, Sally is a QUEEN.

“I’m challenging myself, Karen, to the most extreme endurance test that any human being can face.”

“What, getting rid of them roots? We love Karen so much.

“What’s Steve’s secret? I bet he’s an animal in bed.”

“Oh yeah, he really is. A sloth!

It’s me doing all the work.”

Well, that’s not a mental image for teatime, is it?

“Why do they call carbon monoxide ‘the silent killer’? It’s odourless, colourless and tasteless… But what’s that got to do with being silent? And since when has any gas been noisy, ever?”

“You clearly haven’t worked in an office with Jimmy.” And once again we are grateful that ‘smell-ovision’ remains a mad scientist’s dream.