Web hipsters so brand new they’re retro

Much has been made in recent years of a revival in sales of vinyl, as music fans shun newer and supposedly more sterile formats like the compact disc, digital downloads and online streaming.

Never mind the inconvenience of taking the big old disc out of its sleeve, wiping off the dust, turning it over every 20 minutes and making sure you don’t make any sudden movements while it’s playing. Those who know about these things say you can’t beat the sound of vinyl. And who are we to argue.

It got me wondering whether such purists exist in contemporary entertainment.

There must be a small band of internet snobs out there who prefer the feel of an old-school dial-up connection and turn up their noses at superfast but soulless broadband.

These web hipsters wouldn’t be seen dead using BT Infinity or Sky Fibre Unlimited to surf the internet. Actually, no one really says “surf the internet” any more, so the vintage web types probably quite like that phrase. And they will definitely still refer to “the information superhighway”.

Perhaps there are also mobile phone snobs, who think these devices went to the dogs as soon as people were able to send text messages as well as make calls. They might have a point, although these revivalists will no doubt be cheered by the fact that mobiles are now about as big as they were in the 1980s. The surface area of the iPhone 6 is so large, you could practically play table tennis on it.

You can also play music on it but it’ll never sound as good as vinyl, or an MP3 file that takes eight hours to download on dial-up.