Plans promise a perfect paradise

I visited the presentation in Jubilee Square of the proposed, and presumably approved, regeneration of Week Street, Gabriels Hill etc.

On inspecting the graphics of the improvement plan, the paving design aside, which is not, as I was assured, a cut and paste version of the High Street refurbishment, I was most impressed with the fact that there will no longer be beggars in the doorways of the closed shops, no charity muggers, not a single person with a ferret, and the fact that we will all have the benefit of sartorial elegance and perfect body mass index.

Additionally, no one will be on mobility scooters or will require crutches.

Well done Maidstone Borough Council and I sincerely hope this design will probably provide better value than the £367,952.88 of our money invested in the design of Phase 1 of the High/King Street development.

Phase 1 resulted in 41 falls reported within the area of the project, to which even the council’s insurers expressed a need for preventative action.

When I mentioned the falls to one of the design team she assured me