Football has changed since I last watched

Let me make this perfectly clear, I don’t even like football.

The prospect of watching 22 grown men kicking a ball around a field normally fills me with dread. I find it as fascinating as watching paint dry.

But once in a while, I’ll switch on the TV out of curiosity to see what all the fuss is about.

That happened on Monday night. There was some kind of match going on in Russia and England, already written off as having a woefully young and inexperienced team, were playing.

The first few seconds threw me a bit until I realised the English, who normally wear white, were running around in red and I had been cheering the wrong side.

Jolly good job I wasn’t watching in a pub.

There were other changes, too, from when I last watched England play.

The be-whiskered manager, a goodlooking chap called Gareth Southgate, was sitting in the bunker wearing a suit with collar, tie and a waistcoat.

Surely this wasn’t the national game which had spawned a trend for wearing tracksuit bottoms while shopping in the aisles of supermarkets? And then it happened. England scored. Not just once but twice - and in their first game of a World Cup. This was, a gasping Gary Lineker informed me, almost unheard of.

Yes, there were a few dodgy penalties from those naughty Tunisians but I gather one should expect that at this level of football.

And there, in the middle of everything, was Harry Kane at number nine wearing the captain’s armband.

He “hammered home” both goals (that’s sport-speak for scoring) ensuring a 2-1 win against Tunisia whose players usually ride camels across the sand dunes of the Sahara.

So, if you are English, thank God for Harry. See you on Sunday when we take on Panama. I already have my hat.

Is it too early to believe football may be coming home? The only problem is, I have drawn France in the office sweepstake!