If you don’t like the heat... get a hat and shorts

Phew! Wot a scorcher, as some of our more excitable journalistic colleagues might say.

Well, it’s certainly hot, hot, hot as 80s DJ Pat Sharp once famously warbled.

But with any unusual weather comes those infernal health warnings which treat us as if we are all stupid.

The latest one suggested we all take a week off work, stay indoors and draw the curtains.

This is criminal and just the sort of ammunition the soppy new generation of “snowflakes” needs so they can go to bed with a cold towel clamped to their foreheads.

Of course, there are simple precautions to take.

Staying out of the midday sun is good. Only mad dogs and Englishmen do that.

Splashing on the sun cream is essential, as is a hat and drinking gallons of water.

But that does not mean you should give up work.

I am old enough to remember the Summer of 1976 when there were standpipes on every street corner for rationed water, reservoirs were simply acres of parched mud and it was so hot the roads melted.

We even had a Minister For Drought.

In those days, only the poshest cars had airconditioning.

The rest of us had to manually wind down windows and gasp for air. Until the radiator boiled over, that is, and left us stranded by the side of the road.

By contrast, this hot spell is just a welcome relief to the poor, rainy excuse we usually have to endure for a British summer.

Me, I’m taking the day off for a quick dip at one of our award-winning beaches. With my hat and shorts.

Global warming? Bring it on...