Keeping fit has never been so complicated...
I don’t wish to sound ungrateful but Mrs Nurden has surprised even me with an early wedding anniversary present.
(Don’t worry about forgetting the card, it is not until September. But Amazon Prime had a number of special offers recently.)
Those who know me may well have assumed she had ferreted out new strings for my Strat, a long-lost CD of Status Quo playing Chez Laurie on the Thanet Way (they really did) or a Haynes manual on Teach Yourself Rock Goddery.
Items which have never been on my bucket list include Lycra cycling shorts (although I do have a bike); flying lessons on a paraglider or a holiday to Syria.
When the package arrived, Mrs Nurden could hardly contain her glee.
“Go on, open it. It’s just what you’ve always wanted,” she yelped.
I ripped open the paper and discovered a fitbit.
Now, there may have been times when I purred over her own electronic health trainer saying it looked very nice and how I’d like to have one. But I never expected to get one.
I have seen what it does to normally sane people who suddenly jump up from their desk and go for a walk around the car park.
They also have sleepless nights worrying about their sleepless nights because the fitbit has told them they have sleepless nights. However, I enthusiastically set about setting it up.
“There doesn’t appear to be any instructions,” I ventured. Apparently machines don’t come with directions any more. You have to ask Mr Google what to do. The slip of paper in the box just contained notes in 72 languages about what the international warranty didn’t cover.
It has taken quite a while to connect. The i-Phone initially dismissed it out of hand and the laptop suddenly decided at the critical moment that its hard drive was full and it wasn’t going to play.
However, the good news is that everything now seems to be working and I have started going on long, unexpected walks around the sun-kissed Isle of Sheppey.
I am now looking for a suitable gift for Mrs Nurden. Two tickets to a Quo concert, anyone?