If Brexit wasn’t scary enough already...

I’ll be dressing as John Bercow this Halloween.

Regardless of what you think of him, the incumbent speaker has become a household name.

His cloaked shrieking frame perched atop his throne-like chair in the House of Commons has become a symbol of parliamentary chaos.

The sheer gusto with which he roars “order” has already been worthy of an infinite number of memes (which are online jokes in image form for the technophobes among you).

That personality coupled with the antiBrexit mischief/convention-obeying professionalism make him the perfect villain/anti-hero depending on your stance.

And if you don’t think he’s spooky enough, let me tell you I got not one wink of sleep the other night because there was a bird in a tree outside my window which sounded EXACTLY like him.

The fun won’t stop there, though.

Thursday, October

31 is, as I write this, still ‘Brexit Day’ as well as the annual scare fest we all now love.

It will also see my girlfriend, though she doesn’t know it yet, don an Arlene

Foster costume.

We’ll borrow her family dog, Scooby

Doo, for the night and he will become Screw The EU.

We’ve acquired a mini haunted waiter statue and I will be lovingly decorating him as Dominic Cummings.

I plan to convince the neighbours to dress as Jacob Rees-Mogg and his family.

I just need a Mark Francois and the line up will be complete.

There’s no way those pesky kids will be bothering us again next year if we pull off this political pantomime.

I’ve been complaining for years that Halloween is far too American for these shores.

Now, finally, we can relate to it just as much our transatlantic cousins.