‘How many people realise referees have got the best seat in the house?’
Says Women’s FA Cup Final referee Kirsty Dowle
No wonder Kirsty Dowle describes it as the best seat in the house.
There’s nothing quite like live sport, when you hear and see every emotion at close quarters.
So imagine being on the same pitch as the world’s best players and walking out at Wembley in front of tens of thousands of supporters.
Dowle knows. She refereed the women’s FA Cup final at Wembley in May when Chelsea beat Manchester City 3-2 after extra-time.
“How many people realise referees have got the best seat in the house?” said Dowle. “When that worldie goal is scored, I’m there watching it.
“There’s world class players out there that I’m refereeing and that’s cool!
“I think how I sum it up for me is that I thought the FA Cup final was going to be amazing it was amazing and even more.
“It was everything I wanted it to be. It’s already a really fond memory to look back on.”
While Dowle can’t score the winner in the cup final, she still gets to experience the moment “the hairs on your neck stand up” when she walks out of the tunnel at Wembley.
And she still gets as much satisfaction from making sure the post-match chat is all about the teams rather than the referee, as Chelsea’s Sam Kerr did by scoring the winner.
“That walking out moment, when you walk out of the tunnel with the teams behind you and I’ve got my team with me, and you hear the crowd was incredible,” reflected Dowle.
“That’s when you think game on and let’s all deliver this as a team really well and come out of here happy - and we did!
“My mum said you looked really good and relaxed once you blew that final whistle!
“We were fortunate to watch the men’s game the day before and no one was talking about the referee and I was thinking please let that be the same for tomorrow.
“I don’t want people to remember she did 2022 - you want to remain nameless and hopefully or thankfully that’s what happened. You want everyone to know you and no one to know you in the same breath.
“The FA Cup final for me was quite strange because within the first five minutes I felt really comfortable and I thought barring an absolute disaster I’ve got this and I can do this.
“In the game I just felt so comfortable and with any game once you get across that white line and blow your whistle you’ve just got to concentrate and not let anything else that’s in your head distract you. It just becomes something that you do.”
It’s something that Dowle does well. Her rise up the referee ladder has been pretty fast as well. She’ll be refereeing in National League South this season, and is already a regular on the Women’s Super League and a FIFA women’s referee.
For someone who only turned to refereeing eight years ago, it’s taken her on a journey that she could never have dreamed of as the women’s game has grown significantly in recent seasons.
“When I was nearing the end of university and to this day I still don’t know why but I did my dissertation on referees,” said Dowle, whose playing career peaked at Gillingham’s centre of excellence – she described herself as a “Gareth Bale type” of player.
“I’d never considered them before, I didn’t want to be one but I interviewed a few of them and they said why don’t you do it? At the time I was like, ‘okay, whatever’ but I thought my playing career clearly isn’t going to go anywhere so why not? At the age of 22 or 23 I booked myself on to a referees’ course.
“At the early stages of my career the FA Cup final wasn’t in my thoughts at all. As late as about four years ago I thought this could be something quite serious if I want it to be.
“I think back now and I didn’t have a clue what could have been ahead of me and in a way I’m glad. I don’t know how I would have thought about it.
“I did the course and from there you naturally go into youth football which is what I did and it was okay but I wanted to get into adult football.
“I got involved in the Herne Bay & Whitstable Sunday League and really got my teeth into it, I really enjoyed it, trying to control 22 men who don’t really want me to tell them how to play football.
“Then I got an email from
Nick Dunn
at the Kent
FA about promotion and I said
I’d give it a go and it went from there. I wasn’t aware of what promotion meant and where you could go but I went with the flow.”
Even referees need role models to pique their interest. In Dowle’s case it was when England finished third at the 2015 World
Cup in Canada.
“I can’t even go back 10 years in terms of being involved in women’s football from a referee perspective,” reflected Dowle.
“It was the 2015 World Cup for me, like many people, when England won bronze and I thought women’s football is quite quickly going somewhere.
“Being involved in the Women’s Super League is so professional, it’s their full-time jobs, and it’s really great to be a part of it. To get my appointment through and see I’m going to somewhere like a Manchester City this weekend, for example, is quite an honour really.
“Naturally you feel the pressure but I think a lot of that comes from myself and that’s probably something I need to manage a bit more. Of course, you know the games are televised, it’s all on Sky or BBC so there’s pressure but there’s also ways we are supported and helped to manage it so it’s not bewildering.”
Who knows where
Dowle’s career may yet take her?
The Premier League was the last thing in her mind when she turned up on the first day of her refereeing course but she’s one of a growing number of officials making their way up the ladder. “I can’t answer it,” responded Dowle, when asked what’s next. “We’ve got Rebecca Welch (who is on the panel for the Women’s Euros) in the Football League at the moment and she keeps smashing those barriers.
“All I can do is keep working hard myself, keep challenging myself, and I want to just get as high as I can.
“As long as I’m enjoying it, I will carry on and see where I get. I don’t want to say I want to get to the Premier League and if I don’t then I’m crying my eyes out, I just want to enjoy it and see where I get to.” There have been times, of course, when Dowle has come in for stick as a female referee. Interestingly she says it’s always been from managers or spectators – and never on the pitch.
She’s happy to take the flak if you don’t agree with a decision she’s made, but not if you’re venting your anger at her for being female. “There was obviously a bit of sexism in some games but never from players,” she said. “That’s been nice in that respect. It’s either been the crowd or a manager or two.
“But if you’re a referee you are always going to get picked on by what is seen as your weakness so it could have been anything. I don’t really see that as a barrier as such.
“I’m a referee, I’m never going to make everybody happy and I need to accept that sometimes. “If people have a go at me because I’m a woman I think okay, but if they say ref, you’re rubbish because of this and that then I take it much more personally because they might actually be right.”
Dowle’s advice to anyone considering following in her footsteps is quite simple. Do it! “It was the best decision I ever made to go on that referees’ course,” she stated.
‘You want everyone to know you and no one to know you in the same breath’ ‘It was the best decision I ever made to go on that referees’ course’
“I think just be aware that it’s going to be a roller coaster, there’s good days and bad days and there’s days you wonder why you do it! But when you come off that pitch and you’ve got 22 players shaking your hand and saying well done ref, that’s why you do it.
“Just do it because why not? I know a lot of young players think ‘yeah, but I just want to keep playing football’. But if I was 14 or 15 now, I’d tell myself to referee even if it was just for a bit of pocket money - go out for an hour and a half and earn £30 or £40. Just do it, try it and if you don’t enjoy it, you’ve not lost anything.”