Look, no hands, for glam­our on the move

Kentish Express Ashford & District - - Rubbish Collection Update -

Con­grat­u­la­tions to the young lady driv­ing a dark grey VW Polo who used both hands to tie her hair back into a pony­tail while still ne­go­ti­at­ing the busy dual car­riage­way be­tween the M20 and Ash­ford’s Drovers round­about.

A mem­ber of the Nuts & Bolts team saw her take both hands off the wheel, while do­ing be­tween 30mph and 40mph, to per­fect the style last Wed­nes­day morn­ing.

No doubt she is still prac­tis­ing putting on her lip­stick in the rear view mir­ror while do­ing the ton in the fast lane.

And, talk­ing of bad hair days ... for the sec­ond time in re­cent months KE news edi­tor Alas­tair Irvine, aged 58 and two thirds, has been to the bar­bers (dif­fer­ent ones in the Ash­ford area) and when he’s gone to pay been asked: “Are you a se­nior?”

Now he’s a real old hack, a bit long in the tooth (the teeth he still has left) but please give the old boy a break.

It’s nearly eight years un­til the poor age­ing chap re­tires and of­fi­cially be­comes a ‘se­nior’ – by which time the few re­main­ing strands of hair he has left on his head will long since have dis­ap­peared, mean­ing he’ll have no need to go and have a hair­cut so he won’t even be able to take ad­van­tage of the cheap OAP hair­cut rate.

Phew, what a scorcher – as tabloid news­pa­pers are prone to de­scribe the re­cent heat­wave con­di­tions we’ve been ex­pe­ri­enc­ing.

Half the press re­leases ar­riv­ing in the KE email bas­ket in the past 10 days have been of the ‘how to keep your cool as tem­per­a­tures soar’ va­ri­ety.

We’ve been bom­barded with ad­vice on keep­ing pets cool, chil­dren cool, OAPs cool, food cool, of­fices cool, houses cool and so on and so on.

It seems we get a few days of near 30 de­gree tem­per­a­tures and we just can’t han­dle it, with the govern­ment even of­fer­ing warn­ings on how to cope in times of stick­i­ness.

And if your lawn’s gone all brown, don’t worry. South East Wa­ter sent us a press re­lease headed “Brown lawns are cool”, ex­plain­ing that: “Go­ing brown is the nat­u­ral sur­vival mech­a­nism of grass. When wa­ter is in short sup­ply grass re­sponds by shut­ting down. The brown colour shows that it has stopped grow­ing un­til more favourable con­di­tions re­turn.”

Phew, one less heat dilemma to deal with then!

A woman puts make-up on while at the wheel of her car, left, while South East Wa­ter says nat­u­ral brown is bet­ter than sprin­kled green dur­ing the hot spell

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