Kentish Express Ashford & District
Dumped trees mystery has us stumped
The Nuts and Bolts investigative team has been hard at work for a fortnight now, trying to discover who dumped two Christmas trees at the rear of the Kentish Express offices in Park Street.
And so far, they’ve drawn a blank. They feel it could be linked to rubbish, recycling and food waste bins which appear on the same path each week, waiting to be emptied by the Biffa binmen.
This all started months ago when the bins started to appear each Friday, blocking the entrance path to our rear door.
Our immediate neighbours expressed their innocence for putting them there.
On one occasion an N&B’er picked up the food waste bin to empty it and the bottom was crawling with maggots.
In the latest twist, these two trees (pictured) appeared shortly after New Year’s Eve, and will not be taken away by the binmen as they need to be taken to the Cobbs Wood recycling centre off Chart Road for recycling. (Alternatively, they could have been removed via the Pilgrims Hospice recycling scheme in return for a donation.)
What we can’t understand is why whoever’s bins these are doesn’t put them out for collection outside their own premises, rather than ours, and why they haven’t taken responsibility for getting rid of their own Christmas trees? Bah humbug!
No point in beating about the bush on this one, so here goes.
What terminology do you use for having sex?
A new survey (oh how Nuts and Bolts loves a good survey) has revealed the most popular words and phrases that different parts of the country use to describe the act of sexual intercourse.
Apparently, those in the South East (ie, us) most commonly describe the act as ‘jumping bones’ – a phrase which most people in our office had never heard of.
Up the road in London (no, that’s not one of the survey descriptions) the more descriptive term ‘riding’ is the most popular.
According to the poll – carried out for www.VoucherCodesPro. co.uk – of all respondents who took part in the study, just 10% would describe intimacy with their partner as ‘having sex’, whilst the rest preferred to use a slang phrase or term to describe what they did.
Some terms used are a bit near the knuckle (no, that’s not another of the survey descriptions) to appear in a family paper like this but here’s a little flavour of regional favourites.
South West – doing the deed (26%); North East – getting down to business (23%); Yorkshire & Humberside – having nookie (22%); Scotland – getting jiggy (15%) and North West – doing the naked dance (10%).
Maybe it’s a cultural thing but in Northern Ireland the most popular description (9%) was good old straightforward ... sexual intercourse.
The poll also found that Britons in new relationships will spend £214 per year impressing their partner in the bedroom, whilst those who have been together over 10 years spend just £32 on their bedroom antics and accessories.
In last week’s paper we carried a story about the two Poundland stores in Ashford town centre holding January sales, with the normal £1 price tag reduced to 50p and 25p on certain sale items.
Now we’re pleased to report that two town centre pubs are also holding January sales.
The County Hotel in the Lower High Street has reduced its prices on a selection of drinks (including coffee) – until Thursday, January 23.
Likewise, The John Wallis in the High Street is also offering reduced prices on many of its draught beers during January.
Cheers guys!