Give me Loo Loo Land over La La Land any day

Hope or despair? Confidence or doubt? At times a chap has to wonder which line to take with Ashford. Gerry Clarkson, our beloved council leader, apparently has no doubts. His fortnightly column here in the KE bounces along, expressing his unshakeable conviction that, although all’s right with our world at present, things will, under his guidance, get even better.

It is quite clear that Mr Clarkson hasn’t been caught short with a prostate problem as he leaves his car in the Vicarage Lane car park. Recently, I saw an elderly lady running (or as near as she could) from her car to the toilet due soon for closure.

Town-centre cinema? Great. New college? Excellent. But a towncentre cinema or college counts for nothing when set against a sudden urgency of bladder or bowel.

Seated on a bench opposite Starbucks, I was chatting with an elderly couple last weekend about this very subject. I pointed out that a number of shops and the two town-centre pubs will allow people to use their conveniences. Both husband and wife said they would find it embarrassing announcing to total strangers that they needed the toilet. This may be a generational thing or a matter of upbringing. But it is not something that should ever arise – there should always be public lavatories available (as there have been since Roman times).

Blaming vandalism and the costs involved in dealing with it is a lame excuse for their closure.

In my younger days, I think Mr C would have been labelled a “bread head”. He seems to think of Ashford as his family business with profitability as its primary (or even sole) motivation. In some respects, this is to be applauded, but he needs to be reminded that his customers – that’s you and me, folks – should not be ignored

It is perfectly clear the litter police are merely window dressing when it comes to keeping the town’s streets tidy. We still have at least one man spending his days picking up rubbish. So whatever happened to the T-CAT brigade? The chaps who would put the town centre to rights. Their very title ‘Town Centre Action Team’ should, we might assume, say it all’

Hmmm...

‘A cinema counts for nothing against a sudden urgency of bladder’