Very British behaviour amid the virus horror

You know something has gone very wrong with the world when the sight of people in face masks queuing to get into Asda becomes perfectly normal.

Sadly, it’s not a scene from a low budget horror film but the reality of life in 2020 and the devastating impact of coronavirus.

The ones well enough to queue at a safe distance outside Asda (and other supermarkets) are the lucky ones, even though it may not feel like it. With thousands every week now being struck down or killed, this is a horror unimaginable just a few weeks ago.

Despite the fact lives have been devastated and disrupted, with our usual way of life put on hold indefinitely, it is strangely comforting to see some uniquely British behaviour still on display.

There are an abundance of self-appointed experts intent on policing the social distancing rules, eyeing suspiciously those out taking daily exercise to make sure they’re from the same household and shopping them on social media if there’s no apparent family likeness. Then there was the misguided busy-body who left a note on a neighbour’s car accusing her of ‘selfishly’ driving to work, failing to realise that she was actually a nurse. NHS staff will presumably have to start driving to to hospitals dressed in full scrubs like extras from Holby City, to avoid the ire of interfering finger waggers.

And the weekly round of applause for key workers has gone well beyond polite clapping, as an element of noise-making oneupmanship creeps in.

We now have gongs, fireworks and a full range of percussion instruments to give us a break from the eerie silence of lockdown.

By the end of the month, the whole thing will probably resemble a coup in a failed Middle Eastern state, with assault rifles being fired randomly into the air.

Some areas of life have been enhanced significantly by the concept of social distancing. It will be a brave TV executive who decides it’s a good idea to bring the audience back to Question Time. Rather than the usual shouty ‘passionate’ debate, we now have measured and informative discussion with politicians not feeling the need to play to an audience of baying tribalists. By all means bring the panel closer to each other when this is all over but please keep members of the public locked out.

Churlish concerns in the great scheme of things, obviously, but a sense of the absurd can sometimes be a good thing amid the sadness and uncertainty that now characterises life for so many.

The KM Group columnist with his own look at the world