Please give me a (circuit) break from all this

The burner has apparently gone out under his ‘oven ready’ Brexit deal and he’s making a great job of dividing not just England, but the entire ‘United’ Kingdom. A significant section of the population appears to be putting the economy before the lives of themselves, the threatened NHS, the public in general and their own elderly friends and relatives. Others want to see the introduction of herd immunity, still others want to see local rules rigidly enforced, and some (me included) would be happier with what they’re calling a ‘circuit breaker’ lockdown during the school half term.

And then, as if that weren’t enough, there’s that darned Brexit-inspired lorry park which the government dumped on us without consultation though they are, belatedly, pretending to take an interest in the views of the Kentish Bumpkins.

Clearly our cherished, nostalgic idea of the Garden of England went out of the window some time ago, with the government now putting their faith in another of their famous algorithms (to do with house building this time). It’s pleasing to read that our MP, Damian Green, doesn’t think this to be one of Westminster’s best ideas.

I have, for quite a few years now, been filtering the water that flows from our taps. Initially, it was only to improve the flavour of the local water, which must be some of the most unpleasant in the country. But now, I’m finding increasing amounts of dirty-looking deposits in the filter jug. I once complained to the water company about a similar occurrence but they blinded me with science.

A few weeks ago, I was approached by a friendly chap who said I never had anything good to say about Ashford. I told him I thought he was judging me harshly and asked what he thought I should mention.

‘Well’ he said ‘there’s the bowls - indoor and outdoor’; ‘it has some lovely countryside around, and it’s got good links to London and the Continent.’ Hmm...