Nudging 70 but still a boy racer at heart

I’ve been trying to put it at the back of my mind for a while now, but the brown envelope that dropped through my letterbox last week brought it to the forefront of my consciousness with a jolt. In two months I turn 70 – a frightening and depressing thought – and the aforesaid brown envelope contained an application form for me to renew my driving licence now that I am on course for the Biblical three score and 10.

I can’t really be 70, so it can’t possibly be me who is being asked to fill in a form, declaring that I am free of a whole range of ailments, from dementia to Parkinson’s, from epilepsy to diabetes, before I will be allowed to drive after August 24. But, sadly, it is. Fortunately, the only one of the 20 or so boxes I am required to tick if I suffer from any or all of the above ailments is the one asking whether I wear glasses when I drive. Then I get worried. Suppose, for some reason, my application is rejected and I have to take another driving test.

What a nightmare that would be.

Over almost half a century of driving, goodness knows what bad habits I will have picked up.

I needn’t have worried.

My new photocard licence arrived astonishingly quickly, within a week, and I sent back the paper licence I have carefully preserved for almost 40 years.

The bad news is that in three years’ time I have to fill in the form all over again.

I am guessing the DVLA thinking is that once you’ve turned 70 a lot can happen in three years – presumably none of it good. In my case, I hope to prove them wrong. After all, I’m not really 70, just a 25-year-old getting a bit grey around the edges.

‘I can’t really be 70, so it can’t possibly be me who is being asked to fill in a form declaring that I am free of a whole range of ailments before I will be allowed to drive after August 24’