An incredible Antarctic adventure

Former Junior Kings pupil Alex Brazier arrives back in the UK next week after spending just over two months trekking unsupported over the Antarctic. The 26-year-old doctor and army reservist, son of Canterbury and Whitstable MP Sir Julian, spent 66 days trekking across the most inhospitable place on earth. Having completed the trek, Alex and three of his colleagues ran a marathon across the ice. He ran it in a time of 3hrs 25mins. Incredible.

A city council document on rubbish collection contained a section headed “Route Optimisation”. When our man asked the council’s translator what this meant, he replied: “Varying bin collections routes.” Oh, right.

Council officer David Ford admits there’s a bit of a problem with the authority’s seagull-proof bin bags: the little blighters have worked out how to break into them. Adapting to one’s surroundings has been the story of evolution and natural selection since time began – and is retold here by a bureaucrat who oversees bins.

Joke of the week comes from former Simon Langton schoolboy Sean Cosgrove: “I forgot my kit for the National Incontinence Championship so I had to do it in my pants.”

Sean has also been amusing his Facebook followers by watching repeats of Boon and providing commentaries to them. Boon, if you recall, followed the exploits of ex-fireman Ken Boon (played by actor Michael Elphick). It ran for 93 episodes on ITV between 1986 and 1995. Of one episode, Sean writes: “Boon is asked to chase up an unpaid hotel bill. I s***. You. Not.” Another reads: “Boon must look after the child of a rock star. A rock star who, we must assume, reads the small ads in a local paper in the Midlands.” And finally: “Just watching Boon. In this episode, Boon rescues a kidnapped retired circus lion in a borrowed Transit. This was prime time viewing in the 1980s.”

Alex Brazier