Team set up to give dads an outlet for grief Football unites fathers suffering pain of baby loss

A dad from Canterbury who suffered the tragic loss of his daughter is captaining a new football team for bereaved fathers.

Jack Brockman’s baby daughter Florence was born in December 2016 with just one lung and kidney and with congenital defects in her heart and aorta. She developed life-threatening problems with her airway at just four days old, and died in March 2017, aged three months.

Now Jack, 24, says Kent Sands United - a new football club comprising men from across the county who have lost children - is helping him to work through his grief.

He said: “I honestly didn’t speak to anyone, but I’ve joined this group and opened up to these lads. It’s been a massive help to be able to talk about it.

“Women have got women to talk to - men toughen up, men don’t talk about it. But it’s time to open up and talk about it now and get out there, feel better.

“I listened and it made me open up and speak to the lads and I do feel better. Just to come out here and play football. Have fun, have a laugh. I’ve made loads more friends out of it.

“We recruit any father that’s been through what we’ve been through - bereavement, the loss of a child. Come along and join our team - we’re here with open arms.”

The Kent team has been set up after the success of Sand United’s original team, which is based in Northampton.

One of its aims is to bring together men who have experienced the same loss, and to give them an outlet for their grief.

Mike Pollard, player manager from East Peckham, said: “Sands United was set up as a way to get dads to talk after baby loss. Everyone has a focus on the mums and as wonderful as that is, there isn’t a great deal of support out there, dad-specific.

“I’ve never spoken to many people in a similar situation and what better way to bring people together than with a bit of football.”

Mike’s wife fell pregnant in October 2016, but 19 weeks into her pregnancy, she gave birth to twin boys who were stillborn. Last year, the couple found out they were expecting again, but in August - six months into the pregnancy - she endured another stillbirth.

Mike added: “Everyone has their own unique situation. There are so many different stories, so many unique experiences, but there’s nothing better than knowing on your message group you can just put a message saying ‘I’m having a really bad day’ and there’s all the boys who are there for you, and know what to say.

“There’s no pressure on anyone to speak up about their loss. They can simply play football.”

The team is aiming to get sponsorship and join the Maidstone and Mid-kent Sunday league in September.

Kent Sands United trains on Tuesday evenings at Maidstone YMCA.

Follow the group on Twitter @Kentsandsunited, or donate to their fundraiser at bit.ly/2dFR0LA. Thursday, February 7, 2019 Kentish Gazette (KG)