Daniel’sstory… ‘Breakdown can lead to breakthrough’

Eight months ago Daniel Russell almost took his own life, and in November lost his job at a bank after racking up too many sick days.

But the 35-year-old, who is bipolar, says he does not suffer from his illness, but instead lives with it.

The dad-of-two, who finds solace in his daughters Isabelle and Charlotte, partner Sandra, and love of photography, said: “I can’t fix it, but there are also positives to this illness. It’s made me a very creative person.”

Daniel, who moved to Herne Bay from Maidstone after divorcing his wife five years ago, has rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, meaning he experiences multiple swings each year between periods of manic highs and depression.

“My illness affects me every day of the year. When I’m depressed it’s the most painful experience I have ever had in my life,” he says.

“I once had to have an operation on my toe and the anaesthetic didn’t work. It was pure hell, but that was like going on holiday compared to being this.”

Photography, he says, is something that helps him “get through those bad days”.

“When you’re really low you can’t do anything. But when you start to come out of that depressive state, you kind of need to rehabilitate,” he explains.

“When you’re trying to remember who you are, getting out the camera helps. It gives me something to focus on. You’re able to say ‘I can do something’ and that’s a powerful thing.”

Daniel’s hobby has now developed to the point where he has a monthly stall at Herne Bay Market, and is hosting an exhibition of his work at Beach Creative in May.

Vital to coping with his illness, he says, has been getting to the point where he can talk about it.

“It took me a very long time to have that courage. But eventually, I got to the point of being able to say something was wrong,” he says.

“Talking about it gives you ownership. You need to accept that you have a chronic illness, and that it’s not going to go away.

“Once you have accepted that, you can then control it, rather than it controlling you.”

To see Daniel’s pictures visit www.djrphotography.net.

His photo exhibition in support of Mind, the Samaritans and Take Off will run from May 17 to 23.

At a time when so much interaction takes place via social media, she says that being physically close to her family and friends was crucial to her recovery.

“On social media, people just compare. There’s a certain lifestyle that people try to portray, which can put pressure on young people,” she says.

“The first thing that really helped me was the presence of people. My best friend saved my life by coming down to see me; and my older brother, by just sitting in my room with me, even if we were sitting in silence.

“Getting out of that place was really hard. One of the things that also helped me was understanding that it wasn’t going to happen overnight.”

Today, Hayley runs sessions on mental health at universities and companies across the UK, and even overseas in Uganda, where her mother is from.

With her mantra being “breakdown can lead to breakthrough,” last year, she shared her story at the WE Day conference at London’s Wembley Stadium in front of an audience of 14,000 people.

“I hope to touch the lives of many and instil inspiration and wisdom, helping my peers to understand that breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs and your current situation is not your final destination,” she says.

“I want to trigger others to let their walls down and not just mask their issues but actually deal with them.” she describes as a “lightbulb moment”.

“It explained so much of my behaviour, and my feelings,” she says.

“When I was younger, a lot of the time I was told it was my hormones, it was my age. I was belittled quite a lot.

“People don’t realise you can feel suicidal every day and not talk openly about it.

“You can have a good job, you can have a loving family, you can afford nice things, but mental health doesn’t exclude on the basis of that.”

Her advice to others struggling to cope is to not be embarrassed or ashamed about opening up to family, friends or a medical professional.

“It’s scary, because we don’t talk enough about mental health, but I think it’s so important and so vital,” she says.

“There are a lot of people going through mental illness, and even though you feel very alone, you would be surprised who deals with it.”