Social media a mixed blessing for music fans

Let’s look on the bright side. I have learned a lot of things I never knew I needed since we have been banished to our homes during coronavirus lockdown.

I first noticed this when friends began filming themselves singing and posting the results on social media. Some were unexpectedly good and I became a tad jealous. Others were quite bad which cheered me up when I realised there are people even worse than me.

The problem is that the good ones stopped. Or at least, they curtailed their activities to spend more time making complicated virtual harmonies with colleagues and, in some cases, complete choirs.

The bad ones merely pounced on this gap in the market and started personal campaigns to take over the world by releasing a new excruciating version of a much-loved classic every day. Sometimes two or three a day.

I was once told that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I fear this was long before the joys of

Facebook or Twitter.

So, not being one to just sit and watch, I had a go and launched upon an unsuspecting world a little ditty called

There Ain’t No Ferry to the Isle of Sheppey.

It is an original so, by definition, can’t be ruined and is an ode to the boat which sails from Queenborough to Southend although, because of Covid-19, it doesn’t any more.

The song features me caterwauling over a guitar. In my defence, I didn’t post it to many, just a select few. But it seems to have sneaked out. I realised this when Mrs Nurden phoned from work (she’s allowed) in a panic and demanded: “What have you DONE?”

This conversation-starter never bodes well. “Why, dear heart?” I ventured. “Everyone is laughing and singing something called There Ain’t No Ferry to the Isle of Sheppey. Do you know anything about this?” she replied.

“No, dear heart,” I lied.

I have now learned something else. Stay away from Facebook...

‘I was once told that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I fear this was long before the joys of Facebook or Twitter’