Let’s just agree ‘these times’ are not normal

Anyone who hasn’t learned a new language, culinary skill or musical instrument over the past few weeks - or been bored enough to paint their skirting boards or arrange their music collection alphabetically

- could probably apply their time just as constructively to devising a game of lockdown bingo.

There are a number of words and phrases we’re starting to hear over and over again in these uncertain times - ‘these uncertain times’ being chief among them. You can have many variations on this theme ‘these difficult times’; ‘these challenging times’; ‘these strange times’. For those who prefer a few more syllables, there’s always ‘these exceptional times’ or even ‘these unprecedented times’. In summary, we’re pretty much agree that these ‘times’ are anything but normal. Which brings to mind another lockdown bingo phrase, ‘the new normal’. No one yet has a clue what this muchheralded future will look like but we have endless speculation and an ever-expanding wish list, as over-excited pressure groups push their agendas. Many think a large chuck of the population will be working from home in pyjamas, travelling everywhere on electric scooters, sporting haircuts more suited to prison dramas and communicating only through video conferencing apps that makes everything look like an even lower-budget version of the Bob Monkhouse game show Celebrity Squares (check Youtube if that reference fell flat). Many will hope social distancing rules will remain a feature of society long after they are deemed necessary. For all the talk of us ‘coming together in these difficult times’, there’s something undeniably pleasant about going to a supermarket without people invading your personal space as they decide to take an interest in exactly the same item down the cheese aisle. Less desirable is a shopping environment where everyone dresses like Hannibal Lecter, however great that sounds in theory.

For those who prefer a few more syllables, there’s always ‘these exceptional times’, or even ‘these unprecedented times’