Breaking free for the joys of rain and traffic

We inched through ‘rush-hour’ traffic and burst into the heady fumes of Bluebell Hill, the M2, the A2. I felt like Andy in The Shawshank Redemption, ripping back the cell wall poster of my front door and crawling through the sewer pipe of early morning commuter routes.

In the film he scrambles out, finally free from prison, and turns to the heavens in celebration as torrential rain lashes down – we gawped at the rather ugly new pub at Ebbsfleet and grabbed a Mcdonald’s coffee. Our jail break had in fact been a practice run ahead of my partner returning to the office. You may question the logic of sitting on a motorway, only to arrive at an office where you can do no more than you could at home but it’s also a necessary step, aiding things like on-the-job learning and social skills.

And it goes some way towards delivering us from our Zoom purgatory.

Online meetings have been essential but even the nowmega-rich creator of the aforementioned software has admitted he’s fatigued by constantly using it.

And I’m worried.

I’m worried because web cams and fancy projectors are far from a perfect substitute.

I first realised this after accidentally watching Gary Barlow and Cliff Richard’s online duet.

But now I’ve endured the Lions squad announcement.

This most traditional of rugby sides, unifying four home nations and harking back to the amateur era was revealed by Jason ‘Fun Bus’ Leonard in a studio apparently designed by 1970s George Lucas. Continuing the shoddy sci-fi theme was Alun Wyn-jones, the 148-cap gnarled Welsh veteran who looks like he has been hewn from timber, appearing, inexplicably, as a talking hologram.

I’m all for technology and progress but let’s resist this level of change for at least a little longer.

‘Online meetings have been essential but even the now megarich creator of Zoom has admitted he’s fatigued by constantly using it’