Race against time in festive DIY challenge

One moment she was there and the next she wasn’t. “Get me out of here” yelled Mrs Nurden as she disappeared down a gap in the floorboards just like Alice had fallen down a rabbit hole.

Cobweb Castle is undergoing something of a renovation which means there are a few loose floorboards in the hall.

Mrs Nurden stepped on one and ended up up to her thigh straddling a central heating pipe.

She was not best pleased as I struggled to manhandle her out of her predicament.

Not only that, but the two cups of tea she had been carrying were now lining the walls.

Like many people, we are in a race against time to get last-minute decorating completed before Christmas.

We began back in the summer but unlike our neighbours, who have had a relentless line of tradespeople working on their bungalow, we have been left to do it ourselves.

It was not for the want of trying.

We called a number of decorators and builders for quotes.

Alas, only one turned up, sniffed, and we never saw him again.

So I have waded in.

Like all home improvements it is taking a tad longer than expected.

I blame the cat.

We had to remove part of the stair carpet after it decided it would make a nice indoor lavatory.

Once the carpet was removed, Mrs Nurden decreed the entire hall was in need of a makeover.

So we have the paint, the wallpaper and new panelling to install.

But the old floorboards were in a state with gaps the size of California’s St Andreas fault.

It was mutually agreed to replace them with tongue ‘n’ groove versions and to insulate the void beneath which was allowing sub-zero hurricanes to enter from the dungeon - hence the state of the floorboards.

Will it be ready for Christmas? The jury is still out...

‘We called a number of decorators and builders for quotes alas, only one turned up, sniffed, and we never saw him again, so I have waded in’