Sad reminder that Cold War wasn’t much fun

Okay, this whole ‘Cold War nostalgia’ thing has probably gone far enough now. For the best part of 30 years, people who don’t remember living under the shadow of nuclear annihilation have been listening patiently while the rest of us bang on endlessly about the days of Protect and Survive, Threads, Two Tribes by Frankie Goes to Hollywood and ageing, stonyfaced Soviet leaders who looked bored with life and intent on taking the rest of the world with them for one last laugh.

Now the under-40s are getting a taste of it themselves, as Russian President Vladimir Putin brings about a full-on 80s revival to eclipse anything we’ve seen from popular culture’s ongoing obsession with the same decade.

Putting aside the rights and wrongs of the war in Ukraine

- there are no rights anyway - the most alarming aspect of the invasion has been

Putin’s Cold Warstyle rhetoric and his willingness to threaten to bring about Armageddon if he doesn’t get his own way.

We can only imagine what a spoilt brat he must have been growing up.

Like most sane people,

I think I preferred

Putin’s earlier work; those ridiculous but ultimately harmless stunts designed to make him look macho, like riding a horse topless, grappling on a judo mat and wrestling an angry bear in his pants (I might have made the last one up but I bet he got as far as the risk assessment, at least).

Clearly the Russian people were impressed, as he regularly polled more than 100% of the vote in his country’s elections.

Cold War nostalgia only really works if it’s indulged from a position of peace in Europe. The heartbreaking scenes from Ukraine seen in the media show that is a depressingly long way off, as Putin’s war machine springs to life.

Suddenly, 99 Red Balloons by Nena sounds bang up to date.

‘Like most sane people, I think I preferred Putin’s earlier work, like riding a horse topless, grappling on a judo mat and wrestling an angry bear in his pants’