DAVE PHILLIPS

Old Land Rovers. Don’t we just love them? The trouble is a lot of folk would disagree with that sentiment. Look over your shoulder and whisper it quietly, but some don’t even like them. They’ll tell you that old Land Rovers have emissions figures that could wipe out the entire adult population of London in a day, if it wasn’t for the Emissions Zone ( bless its soul!). And that’s only petrol Land Rovers, which are relatively harmless compared to those that drink diesel. It’s a well-known fact that diesel Land Rovers rob banks and kill babies as well.

It is to that backdrop that those of us who really do like old Land Rovers live our lives. And we do that even though we are blamed for ills of the world that have nothing to do with us.

Does that sound bitter? I do hope so, because I want you to know that those of us with a green oval engraved upon our souls are being sold seriously short, while drivers of dubious modern contraptions are undeservedly getting the benefit of all the generosity our misguided government can bestow. Let me explain…

I have a good friend who has recently invested in a 3 Series BMW. It is his company car. It is the 330e plug-in hybrid model, and he has had his home electricity supply adapted in order to accommodate it.

Now I am a lifelong fan of model railways and I am the proud owner several 1/76 scale locomotives that are powered by compact electric motors. I don’t know if Hornby supplies the motors for BMW plug-in hybrids, but I wouldn’t be surprised, because my mate admits that his 330e will travel all of 20 miles on an overnight charge before it goes dead and he has to resort to the vehicle’s 2.0-litre petrol engine.

But despite this he’s quids in, because of the tax benefits he gets. Because his Beemer boasts a small electric motor, it counts as a zero emissions motor, meaning he doesn’t have to pay any road tax (Vehicle Excise Duty). And if that wasn’t enough, he also gets a massive financial benefit through company car tax, as even the notoriously Scrooge-like taxman comes over all generous as soon as C02 is mentioned, with truly massive savings for those who, like my mate, invest in a plug-in hybrid.

If he had chosen a standard 320d, with its very frugal diesel engine, my friend would be paying about £2800 a year in tax for the benefit of having a company car. But instead he opted for the 330e and pays just over £900. That’s because the 320d is taxed at 19 per cent of its value, while the 330e is taxed at seven per cent.

Now here comes the irony. My friend travels all over Britain and abroad as sales manager of a large company selling specialised equipment to the construction industry. Most days see round trips of hundreds of miles recorded, which means the 20 miles of all-electric driving is an irrelevance, as he gets just 34 mpg overall. With a 320d he would have achieved about 55 mpg.

Even though diesel is scandalously priced higher than petrol in the UK, with my friend’s annual mileage of well over 25,000 miles, his total fuel bill would work out much cheaper if he was filling his tank with diesel. But because his company is paying for that fuel, it doesn’t matter. Taking advantage of the lower company car tax, he is nearly £2000 a year better off.

There are many drivers of electric and hybrid cars who will tell you, smugly, that they are doing so to save the planet. But they are talking bollocks. They are saving themselves a wedge of cash through the great tax fiddle that just about every form of socalled green energy attracts.

OF COURSE, giving undeserved tax breaks to owners of plug-in hybrids means there is less cash coming into Treasury’s coffers.

Last year the nation’s motorists paid about £27.5 billion in fuel duty alone. About 57.95p of every litre of fuel we bought, in fact. That’s serious money, which keeps a lot of fat cats purring, so to make up for the shortfall someone else will inevitably have to pay more.

The latest news from Westminster is that the Department for Transport is keen to introduce a pay-per-mile road charging system to rake in some extra dosh.

They plan to test it out on lorries first, but few doubt that the eventual plan is to extend it to all road vehicles. Watch this space.

I DO feel sorry for the owners of the 1300 cars that were destroyed at the Liverpool Echo Arena multistory car park last month. The fire was first spotted by Sue Wright, the wife of former England international footballer, Mark Wright, who dialled 999 but the fire service was unable to prevent the ferocious blaze from engulfing the whole building.

Sue later told the press that the fire started ‘under the bonnet of an old Land Rover’. It was a timely reminder that those of us who drive old Land Rovers have a responsibility to make sure that they are safe – and prevent even more people from having a reason to dislike them.

“It’s a well-known fact that diesel Land Rovers rob banks and kill babies”