Last of the winter floods
Dave explains why he doesn’t have a gung-ho attitude to floodwater any more
ALMOST exactly 20 years ago I was in Africa. I had just spent a few days exploring Botswana’s amazing Okavango Delta with photographer Bob Atkins and, with a day to kill, I suggested making a detour to the Victoria Falls. As we headed across the Zimbabwe plain towards it in our newfangled Td5 Defender 110, we could see what appeared to be a cloud of smoke a few miles ahead. It was in fact the permanent cloud of spray above what is the largest waterfall in the world. Once there, we stood in awe for a few minutes. Then snapped away taking photographs for a few minutes more. Then we stood in awe for a bit longer. Then Bob yawned, I laughed and we headed back to the Land Rover. I’d set aside half a day to spend at the falls, but we left after an hour. Even looking at one of the most impressive sights in the world gets a bit samey after a while.
It’s the same with floods. I live in the valley of the River Nene, which gets more than its fair share of floods and there used to be a time when I would rush out and drive through them in one of my Land Rovers. But this year I didn’t.
This is partly for the same reason I left Victoria Falls. Driving through floodwater is fun, but there’s only so much you can do before it becomes boring. I’ve done some very serious wading in my time, including twice across treacherous Morecambe Bay at low tide, as well as through a crocodile-infested river during the Okavango Delta trip mentioned above. I can assure you that trips like that tend to overshadow driving along a flooded road in Northamptonshire. We all know that Land Rovers will get through deeper water than other vehicles, so why do we need to prove it again and again?
Another reason for my abstinence is the sheer number of prats in modern 4x4s — usually modern Range Rover variants — who think it’s a good idea to test their vehicles’ wading capabilities but haven’t got a clue what they’re doing. End result: a swamped Range Rover stranded in the road that prevents the emergency services from getting through to do their already-difficult jobs.
But the biggest reason for me shunning the floods this time around was my old mate Chris Wilson, who lives in Fishlake, near Doncaster. Chris is a huge Land Rover fan and a great friend of LRM. He has even been a cover star on one occasion, so I was deeply saddened when I heard that his home was one of the many in Fishlake that had been badly damaged by the floods caused by the River Don bursting its banks. After hearing how he and his family had suffered, I couldn’t bring myself to go splashing through the floods for fun.
Instead I waited for the floods to subside, then took Billy the Wonderdog
out for a gentle drive around the valley in my Ninety, taking in a few riverside tracks in the process. I only had to wade through one small pool caused by a swollen stream. All in all, it was a pleasant afternoon in the winter sunshine — and I didn’t get bored once.
Before I leave the subject, I’m sure you’ll all join me in sending our best wishes to Chris and his fellow flood victims in Derbyshire and Yorkshire.
Meanwhile, still in Yorkshire, my obsession with spotting Land Rovers on the telly continues by paying close attention to old episodes of Lastofthe Summerwine (currently being screened on the Freeview UK Drama channel), which is still the richest source of green oval treasures on the box.
The year 2000 is particularly Solihullinfluenced, with every episode featuring Wesley Pegden and his drab-painted Series III 109 truck cab with military front bumpers and a Q-plate registration, although why it’s on a ‘Q’ is a mystery to me as it’s sitting on leaf springs and, presumably, its original chassis. Perhaps a helpful reader can explain? No matter, it’s a beauty regardless.
The millennium year also saw the untimely departure of the incomparable Compo Simmonite (played by Bill Owen). His final episode, Elergy for Fallen Wellies, featured
Wesley’s Series III as well as a pristine N-reg 300Tdi Discovery in white Police livery. That brought back some memories, I can tell you. It was a white Disco of around the same vintage, loaned to me for a month more than a quarter of a century ago by Land Rover’s press office, that converted me to being a Land Rover man. I’ve never looked back since and, of course, I’ve owned my current 300Tdi Discovery for nearly 14 years now.
I digress. Still in 2000, the Lastofthe Summer Wine episode Under the Rug featured Nora Batty and friends in conversation in the local newsagents. Look carefully in the background and on the shelves you can see an early copy of LRM with its big purple masthead, as well as LRO, LRW and Viz. Coincidentally, I have worked for both LRM and LRO, while my nephew and godson, Steve Crouch, is a regular contributor to Viz. I wonder if that’s a record for a telly screengrab?
However, that’s not my proudest claim to fame. That came in 1986 when I was watching an episode of Spitting Image when the camera turned to the Queen Mother (puppet version) reading a copy of Coarse Fisherman (a magazine I was editor of at the time). The next day I called the ITV press office, who kindly sent me a black and white print, which I’ve still got somewhere. I will have to dig it out.