‘Sam was suicidal when she asked us for help’
HELPING HAND Kelsey Hylland
Sam* was a very troubled 23-year-old university graduate when she turned to the unique health and wellbeing charity Body & Soul for help.
“Sam was in a dark place when she came to us in 2018,” recalls Kelsey Hylland, leader of the National Lotterysupported charity’s You Are Not Alone group therapy programme for young people aged 16 to 30 who have attempted suicide.
“She had struggled with mental health problems throughout her university career. She was self-harming, had attempted suicide and had got to the point where she found it difficult to find the motivation to get out of bed. She had sought counselling, but found it lacking. She simply couldn’t find a way out.”
So Sam was put on the six-month You Are Not Alone programme. This combines weekly two-hour group therapy sessions with holistic all-round support to boost self-confidence and encourage social interaction through workshops and activities held at the charity’s London community centre, prior to the pandemic.
It was the breakthrough Sam needed. “After six months she had already made massive strides in developing her selfconfidence, so she felt able to start working part-time as a teacher,” says Kelsey. “When lockdown temporarily put a stop to that, Sam was able to continue her involvement in the Body & Soul community through volunteering.
She flourished with this opportunity and became a lead volunteer in one of the programmes. With the end of lockdown in sight, she’s looking forward to applying for other jobs.”
Sam is one of many Body & Soul success stories since the charity was founded 24 years ago by Emma Colyer MBE to support families of those affected by HIV. It has since expanded its activities, partly thanks to £73,000 of National Lottery funding, and now supports people of all ages who have experienced childhood trauma.
The funding has also been vital in helping the charity deal with the difficulties of the past year. Covid-related stress has trebled the number of young people coming to Body & Soul with mental health problems and lockdown has meant switching the support programmes to online streaming. “That, especially, is where The National Lottery’s support has been a massive help,” says Body & Soul’s head of pathways and programmes Zoë Reynolds. “It enabled us to make the switch straightaway, without any break in the services that we offer.”
We moved our support online thanks to help from The National Lottery
ZOë REYNOLDS BODY & SOUL
Ange Hickenbotham used to lead a “fairly normal life”. She and husband Brian spent a lot of their time together and Ange worked for Leicestershire Fire and Rescue Service in its control room, a job she’s loved since she started. But one fateful day, 16 years ago, her world turned upside down when Brian had a stroke. Since then, Ange has been juggling a full-time career with the fire service and being Brian’s carer. She shared her story as part of the International Women’s Day campaign, Choose to Challenge
ANGE joined Leicestershire Fire and Rescue Service 22 years ago as an operator in the control room and has worked her way up to become a Crew Manager. She never thought she’d end up working for the fire service, but she said the role found her.
“I used to work at a builder’s merchants and very often firefighters would undertake building work outside of their normal job,” she recalled. “My job in itself required a lot of multi-tasking and organising and I remember one day a firefighter came in and said: ‘You’d be great working in a control room.’
The seed was planted and Ange applied for a job opening with the service, but wasn’t successful the first time round – although her details were kept on record.
It was six months later when she got the call to say there was a new opening and this time she succeeded.
She said: “At this time, Brian wasn’t disabled, so life was pretty normal for me. I’d go to work, come home and Brian and I would spend our time together, we enjoyed gardening, meeting up with friends and getting away in the caravan.”
But in 2005, Brian, pictured above, had a stroke while driving his car which left him with complete left-sided paralysis. Now, Ange spends her time caring for him.
“I can remember very clearly those first few days after his stroke,” she said.
“They were some of the hardest days of my life, but the support and love from my fire family was exceptional.
“My manager at the time had spoken to colleagues at Greater Manchester
Fire and Rescue Service as that’s where Brian was in hospital and, before I knew it, people who didn’t even know me were offering to help our family – either bringing us clothes or giving us a place to stay so we could be close to Brian in the hospital. I’ll never forget that kindness.”
SINCE then, life has settled down for Ange and Brian and together they have adapted to their new way of living, but 16 years on, they can still face challenges. “If I worked a 9-5 job, Brian and I wouldn’t get a chance to see or spend time with each other.
“Thankfully, because of the flexibility of my job, we can very often just sit and enjoy each other’s company in the day.
“Even if we don’t have anything particular to speak about, it’s just nice knowing you have someone around.
“I think without that flexibility Brian’s mental health would have deteriorated. Having me around in the day has made a huge difference to him.
“Equally, going out to work at times also gives me an opportunity to get respite, something I’m very grateful for.
“If I’m not around, then professional carers will help look after Brian and it gives him a change of environment.
“For me, it means I can get out of the house, speak to other people and take my mind off things for a short while, all while knowing he’s in the best hands.”
Ange admits that even after all these years of perfecting the balance of having a career and being a carer, sometimes she’s been thrown a curveball.
She said: “Working and looking after Brian can have its challenges. In my role, you can’t just walk away from it like you can some others.
“People’s lives quite literally depend on me and I have a duty of care to them as well as to Brian. I’ve found that if I’m well organised and plan things in advance, things usually run smoothly.
“We have a pattern and a routine now so things have gotten easier over time. I’m lucky to have a supportive family, as well as the help of Brian’s professional carers.
When asked what she’d like others to take away from her story, Ange said: “Looking after Brian is a full-time job in itself, but I’m more than just a carer.
“I’m also a control room operative and a Crew Manager, a mother, a friend and so much more.
“I choose to challenge people’s perceptions every day.”