We all just felt numb: You go on autopilot, just go through the motions
PETER CLARK TOOK HIS OWN LIFE 14 YEARS AG0. HIS MUM, ANGELA, NOW VOLUNTEERS AT A COUNSELLING SERVICE
IT was a mother’s intuition. Angela Clark sensed something was wrong.
Her 28-year-old son Peter and his father – her husband David – had returned from a day out in Matlock in Derbyshire and had set out plans for the future.
“But I could tell something was not right,” said Angela, of Loughborough. “I could tell by Peter’s demeanour that all was not well.
“David was very positive about what they had chatted about and said he thought there had been a sort of breakthrough, but I had a bad feeling. But, I did not, or could not, act on it.”
The next day, Angela, a maths and science teacher, went to work, but tried to contact Peter until her phone battery went flat.
That evening, with a growing sense of unease, Angela and David went to Peter’s flat but found the place in darkness and his car nowhere to be seen.
Peter had learning difficulties and had been diagnosed as having Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism, which made social interaction difficult for him.
Although he enjoyed school and made a few good friends, he was
also bullied and teased and life was hard as he struggled to fit in.
“But he carried on and turned into a nice-looking young man with very blue eyes and dark curly hair,” said Angela.
“That night, we called the police and told them our son who was a vulnerable adult had gone missing.
“They were very good, they called the helicopter out. They found Peter hanging from a tree in Watermead Park.
“He knew the park quite well as he had volunteered and done work experience there.
“We all just felt so numb. You go on to autopilot and just go through the motions.”
Angela has chosen to share her story as research by the Reach Data Unit showed that the number of suicides has been rising in Leicestershire over the past few years.
In 2019, 89 people took their own lives across the county – an average of about two suicides a week.
That was up from 73 the previous year and 53 in 2017.
“The police, who were very sensitive, gave me a contact number for the helpline of the charity Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SoBS),” Angela said.
“Very early on I rang them and it was good to speak to someone who knew what I was talking about, someone who had been through what I was going through.
“It was of immeasurable help to me.”
Her husband kept himself together until Peter’s funeral.
“After that day, David got more and more distressed and then tried to drown himself in the bath,” said Angela.
“He was admitted to the Bradgate Unit at Glenfield Hospital. He never fully recovered or forgave himself. He died three years ago of heart failure.”
It has been 14 years since Peter died and now Angela is the person who picks the phone up when a suicide bereaved person rings the SoBS helpline.
“When I needed them, they were there for me,” said the 73-year-old.
“They were someone to lean on after Peter died. I do not know what I would have done without their support.
“I talked endlessly on the phone and I joined a group.
“Now I am taking calls and help co-ordinate the national helpline.
“Part of what I do is make sure there are always enough volunteers to pick up the phones from 9am to 9pm each day.
“That is the least I can do after they helped me after Peter took his own life.”