The reality is, British people will very rarely make new friends when they’re sober
COMEDIAN RUSSELL KANE TELLS ABI JACKSON WHY HE WANTS US TO MEET UP WITH OUR NEIGHBOURS BUT REVEALS FAME HAS LEFT HIM FEELING A BIT SHY
Has doing stand-up made it easier for you to chat to strangers?
No, it’s made it much, much worse Before stand-up, I was the first person up dancing, the biggest showoff in the room, talking to strangers.
At a wedding, I was the first one on the dance floor, when it was just the aunties and the mums.
As soon as I started to get well known – and the more well known, the worse it got – the more anxious and paranoid I am about showing that side of my personality, in case people think, ‘Oh, just because you’re on the TV’.
It makes you more shy. It’s weird, isn’t it?
You’ve just moved to Cheshire with your wife Lindsey and daughter Mina. Have you had the opportunity to break the ice with your neighbours yet?
I haven’t really met any of them yet, but we have joined the Neighbourhood Watch group and our Close is planning a Jubilee party, daytime sandwiches and drinks, old-school long table in the middle of the road... the works.
Do you think we are a bit reserved as a nation?
It’s not just reservedness, there is a bit of unfriendliness or, if you wanted to be kind, sort of asocial, rather than anti-social.
We’ve all had that experience with an Amazon parcel that’s gone
next door. You really need it, and the neighbour is coming over to help and knocks on the door to give it to you, but you can’t be a**ed to have a conversation so you do without the thing you desperately need rather than have five minutes of conversation.
I mean, we could be the only culture on earth that’s that unfriendly to each other, but it’s because we’re reserved. It’s not like we’re bad people. We just like to keep ourselves to ourselves, behind our net curtains, and that’s why we’re such drinkers on these islands. Because once we drink, we become the exact opposite.
Do you think there is a north/south divide as well?
Cheshire is up north, which has different rules straightaway. You can say hello at the bus stop and they don’t think you’re going to kill them.
There are things that bring all of us together, whether it’s the football, the Jubilee or whatever, then we will get behind it.
Even Covid, to a certain extent, brought us all out – even though we were all in (due to lockdown!) – sort of unified us.
It was amazing. I’ve never experienced anything like that in this country before.
Do people do not necessarily get friendlier with age?
People forget what it’s like being younger. When you’re in your first flat and you’re 21 years old – well, if you’re lucky enough to be in your first flat before you’re 25, which let’s face it, is increasingly rare – you forget how vitally important it was to get to know the four girls or lads opposite because there might be some romantic interest there, or an opportunity to do a house party.
You might be able to get together because you’re into similar things – there might be another vegan with the same haircut.
You’ve partnered with Nextdoor (Nextdoorjubileemap.co.uk), the online community network and have filmed a tongue-in-cheek video to encourage the UK to get together with neighbours. How would you describe the project?
We made several small sketches and then knitted them together to make one long sketch. The reality is, British people very rarely make new friends when they’re sober.
You make friends if you’re down the pub, drunk, it’s the British curse. To try and get people knocking on each other’s door… it’s a heart-warming thing to be involved in.
Is some of the video inspired by your experiences, like forgetting the name of a friend’s child?
Some friends came over and I just could not for the life of me remember the names of their children. People take it really personally. If you’ve known someone a long time and you don’t know their child’s name, it’s like an insult, isn’t it? Lindsey had no clue either. I came up with the clever idea to pop upstairs and stalk their Facebook page to try and dig out the kids’ names, but my laptop was in the same room that we were putting people’s jackets in and, unfortunately this woman had left something in her coat pocket and walked into the room while I’m on a laptop looking at pictures of her kids. That’s just about the most awkward thing that’s ever happened to me.
Russell is currently touring the country with his new stand-up show. Visit russellkane.co.uk for tour dates and booking information