Dreams of awards and Guyana

Wealth, riches, or a new pork-pie hat are not what Porkpie (Ram John Holder) dreams of — what the scruffy rogue pictures in his head, when not being snippy with Desmond (Norman Beaton), is winning an Evening Standard book award.

His memoir is the work that he is confident will scoop the gong — all those tales of sitting around in Desmond’s barbershop and enthralling anecdotes, such as the time he found a hair in his tea. Crazy, days. This day is genuinely unusual for all, because dramaninny Beverley ( Joan Ann Maynard) flounces into the shop full of woe because her man’s been unfaithful.

Desmond shouldn’t spend too long sniggering at Bev’s plight — the bothersome gossip’s problems being a source of discreet pleasure — because he and Shirley (Carmen Munroe) are under strain this evening. It has been decreed, in Desmond’s head, that it’s time to move back to Guyana. News which he hasn’t shared — woe betide him — with Shirl…