FOCUS ON FAITH
WHAT happens when values of honesty and compassion clash?
Carers of people living with dementia face these issues every day.
When my grandmother asks for grandad, it is heartbreaking to watch her crumple when I say: “He died, remember?”
Nevertheless, the thought of saying something like ‘he’s at work’ does not feel entirely comfortable.
Loving relationships are, after all, based on trust. Proverbs 12:22 tells us that ‘lying lips are an abomination to the Lord’.
However, in Joshua, Rahab’s lie which saves lives is not condemned.
Saint Augustine, despite condemning Rahab’s lie, regards lying which harms no one and may benefit someone as pardonable.
To 18th century philosopher Immanuel Kant lying was always wrong, however contemporary philosopher Sissela Bok asks whether a lie could be justified to reasonable persons.
A psychological study of people living with early stage dementia found lying in a person’s best interests to be generally acceptable, but professional caregivers remain divided. While some support ‘therapeutic lying’, others argue that lying disrespects the personhood of the person being lied to.
The Dementia Truth Inquiry Report (2016) draws a distinction between lies and untruths.
Listing five different responses, the report states that whole truth telling is always the preferred starting point but it acknowledges that it may not always be appropriate.
As a continuum, the report then considers looking for alternative meanings, distracting, going along with the person and – as a last resort to prevent physical or psychological harm – lying.
Compassion, kindness and respect should always be present.
Unitarians are free to consult any text and make up their own minds on any issue.
I speak only for myself when I say I agree with the conclusions of the Dementia Truth Inquiry.
You must decide where you stand.