Child’s education
factor in children’s tolerance and mood, which is why it’s so important for babies to learn a good sleeping pattern from a young age.”
LOUENNA says simple measures like making sure young children get lots of time outdoors to let off steam can help reduce aggression, and she points out that, as children learn from their friends and elders, it’s important to be a good role model.
“From toddler age, set clear boundaries over what’s right and wrong,” she stresses.
“Children love feeling the security of having boundaries and you’ll find they’re happier if they know you’re in control.”
A good bedtime routine and a focus on making communication as easy as possible will also help make aggressive behaviour less likely, she says. “A consistent bedtime is key to all children’s behaviour. Between 7pm and 3am is when children have their deepest sleep, so be sure they’re in bed and can enjoy an undisturbed sleep.
“Communication is a huge part of every child’s development. If your toddler is finding it hard to communicate through their words, learn
Dr Kathy Weston, one of the leading experts on parental engagement in children’s lives and learning, said: “It is normal to feel a bit anxious about the start of the school term, and this year it might feel particularly acute.
“It’s important that parents model the approach that we wish to see. By staying positive, focusing on the things we can control and expressing excitement about your child’s step up into a new school year, we give them the best chance of a good start.” signing together so they can express themselves.”
WHILE some parents may think hitting a child if they hit their friend will show them how it feels and stop them from repeating the behaviour, David says such tactics are unwise.
“This is a difficult topic,” he says, “but the general advice to parents involves not responding to the aggression with aggression, but to restrain the child if necessary and not to escalate the situation.
“The attention given by creating a scene may in a strange way be rewarding to the child and so can end up encouraging more aggression.
“Sometimes it’s useful to overemphasise the hurt that’s occurred, to work with the child’s empathy – especially if the aggression is to an adult.
“It’s also very useful to discuss the issue with the child when there’s less stress and the situation is calmer.
Ask why they carried out the aggressive act, what they were thinking about, what they thought about afterwards. Avoid blame and getting into an argument, instead try to show concern and understand what the child is feeling.”
But however you deal with your child’s aggression, it’s important to remain calm, agrees Louenna. “Don’t let your child know you’re affected by their bad behaviour – don’t shout or get upset, just calmly tell them what their consequence is and follow it through,” she advises.
She points out that consequences will differ depending on the age of the child. A toddler, for example, could be denied an ice cream they’d been promised, and an older child might be sent to their room until they apologise.
“Once they realise the bad behaviour only has a negative effect on their own happiness, they’ll stop,” she says.