Eager for release from Cobra’s grip
HAVE you ever spent three months holed-up in your house with a one-eyed Labrador?
Yes, well I have.
Since I re-acquired my single status I have had many obstacles to overcome and he’s one of them.
Cobra has the body clock of a Coldstream guard.
He knows precisely when he’s due for a feed and will take affirmative action. If I’m watching TV he’ll nick the remote.
It’s very sensitive and he’ll drop it on the floor and change channels.
Imagine how annoying that is when Line of Duty suddenly has two hairy bikers.
I discovered recently that I’ve been putting fabric softener in my washing machine instead of detergent. I’m very soft now…but dirty.
Not exactly the look I was after.
My cooking is coming on in leaps and bounds without any disasters other than every recipe seems to be for four people. I know I can freeze some of it but my freezer can only hold so much food so I’m tempted to eat it all on the day I make it. My calculator doesn’t go high enough to count the calories I’m eating.
You want to see me ironing the duvet cover.
It looks like two ghosts having a fight.
I can’t find a way of doing this without standing on the bit I’ve just ironed. Cobra thinks it’s hilarious and dives on whatever is trailing on the floor. It’s very frustrating.
So…you can understand why I’m champing at the bitt to get down to the pub on April 12. I know it’s outdoors only but I’ll be out there if there’s a tsunami. I don’t even mind if they run out of beer as long as I can talk to someone/anyone who doesn’t have four legs and one eye.
If you see me around town and have a good story to tell come and say hello.