I don’t need to be filled in on Jeremy’s world
You can email me at vicbarlow@ icloud.com
GOOD morning my marvellous Maxonians. Are we ready to rumble? Let’s get it on…
Have you been to the dentist recently?
My practice (I hate that word, if there is one thing I don’t want it’s a trainee dentist) used to be a fairly rudimentary operation.
Sit in the waiting room, read a Women’s Realm and stare at the peeling wallpaper until called, lay in the chair, mouth open, eyes closed and pray.
I understood where I was with that regime, there was no pretence, I knew the score.
Big needle, lots of drilling and out you go with a face like half a melon.
Bowl of soup for lunch and spoon it down your shirt.
That’s the way it went but not any more.
I now have a high-tech, laser-beaming orthodontist with a surgery resembling the deck of the Starship Enterprise. So, imagine my surprise when I sat in my dentist’s chair today and found Jeremy Kyle leering back at me from a flat screen TV suspended above my head.
“Open wide Mr Barlow.”
“Aaaaaaaaaye…”
“And when did you suspect your husband of sleeping with your sister?”
“Yes, I see…looks like you need a new filling…”
“When you saw his hair all over her pillow.”
“Can you feel this?” “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaye…” “And how long had he been sleeping with her?” “Do try to keep still…” “Aaaaaaaaaaaaye…” “And where were you when this was going on?” “Not long now…”
“This might be a little sensitive…” “Aaaaaaaaaaaaye…” “And rinse.”
There’s a lot to be said for a Women’s Realm and peeling wallpaper.