The Twitter wit of Inspector Spurgeon

HERE, the M.E.N. looks back at some of Insp Spurgeon’s highlights from the @GMP City Centre Twitter account... WHEN officers couldn’t resist an Elvis pun... “NOW call about woman banging on apartment doors Piccadilly asking for Elvis (who I presume has already left the building). “WOMAN banging on doors asking for Elvis was arrested, so was looking at ‘Jailhouse Rock.’ Now dropped off at A&E so a case of ‘Release Me’. “WE had to take her to A&E as she was ‘All Shook Up’.” BRILLIANT. WHEN thieves stole items from Insp Spurgeon’s car... but rejected his CDs... “INSP S - my car got broken into last week while off. “THEY took all my bits and bobs worth very little, but left all my CDs behind #sadbuttrue.” INSP Spurgeon later revealed thieves left behind his Trevor Nelson and Jo Whiley Live Lounge CDs, adding: “Car thief clearly had no taste.” WHEN a passer-by confused a glove in the canal for a ‘severed hand’... “THANKFULLY, person who reported severed hand in canal Ducie Street, quickly rang back to say ‘it’s okay, it’s just a glove’. “NO arm done then...” WHEN officers regretted lending props for a photo opportunity... “COP regrets lending helmet to hen party for photo Deansgate Locks after it fell off bride-to-be’s head into canal.” WHEN a reveller made the mistake of handing his phone over to record an argument... THIS is one of the most shared GMP City Centre tweets ever. “MAN refused entry to club argues with door staff, passing phone to randomer in queue to record the altercation. Randomer runs off with phone.” ENTIRELY predictable. WHEN a drug taker wanted to give police the heads up... “999 at 5am. Man says he has 3g of cocaine and wants us to come and arrest him. “TELLS us ‘best hurry up, before I snort it all’.” AT least he was honest. WHEN someone was keen to part with their trendy custody plimsolls... “JUST found these at HQ front door. Seems someone couldn’t wait to part with our not very trendy custody plimsolls. “BUT if we said they were limited edition, bet they’d queue around the block in the Northern Quarter for a pair!”