Lockdown freed me from my domestic abuse hell

MOTHER-OF-FOUR FLED HOME IN FEAR OF HER LIFE AFTER 15 YEARS OF ABUSE FROM PARTNER

A WOMAN has described how being trapped with her partner on lockdown was the ‘final straw’ that led to her fleeing the home after years of domestic abuse.

The mother in her thirties and her four children fled her controlling partner after three weeks stuck in the house with him on lockdown.

Caroline says her partner had been abusing her for around 15 years, but during the pandemic restrictions his mood worsened to the point she began to fear for her life – and realised she had to get away as soon as possible.

Speaking to the M.E.N about her ordeal, she described how she was separated from two of her children for days after deciding to leave. The youngsters had to go into care because women’s shelters do not allow any more than two children over ten to stay with their mother.

Caroline, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, said before she escaped she was being prevented from leaving the property alone.

“I was going out with him and the kids for our one hour exercise and I wasn’t allowed to put my head up and look around. If somebody looked at me he would get angry.

“It was psychological abuse I went through. He was constantly bringing me down, I wasn’t allowed to go for a shower, and if I did go for one, or put on a bit of make-up on he’d ask ‘why are you doing that?’ Who are you trying to impress?”

Caroline says she also found herself without any money during the lockdown, as her ex-partner was using the money they received from Universal Credit on drugs and alcohol.

“I had to ask social services for support to feed my kids,” she said.

“He made me feel like it was my fault and I made him do it and he was blaming me for the way he was treating me.”

Caroline says her partner was not violent during lockdown, but had been in the past. In the 15 years they had been together, she said she had been headbutted so violently she was left temporarily, partially blind, and had been kicked in the legs when she was pregnant.

Afraid that the mood could become even more toxic than it was, she decided to contact Women’s Aid in the hope of finding a way out with her children.

Since the Women’s Aid refuge was unable to accommodate all five of them, Caroline has only just been reunited with the two children she was separated from.

Caroline said: “My kids don’t have a clue what’s going on, it’s not fair for them.

“They don’t understand what domestic violence is and there’s nowhere for them to get support, they’re going to need a psychiatrist.

“I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get over what’s happened to me for the past 15 years, it took half of my life away, I keep getting flashbacks. Those three weeks were the final straw, I feared for my life. It was too much to be honest. It was just a horrible situation to be in.” Caroline is currently staying with family but has registered herself as homeless and applied for housing. Despite the situation she is in, she hopes her story can encourage other women to be brave and find a way out. “I hope other women realise they can get away because there is help out there, they just need to have the courage. They just need to find somebody that can give them the right support and hopefully find the time to just pack a bag, even not pack a bag, and leave.”

● If you need help, you can get in touch with Women’s Aid at www. womensaid.org.uk/informationsupport/

Those three weeks were the final straw, I feared for my life Caroline