I feel better at 62 than I did at 42
TV TALKS STAR TO DENISE SUSANNA WELCH, GALTON ABOUT HER BATTLES WITH DEPRESSION AND ALCOHOLISM, HER FAMOUS SONS, FINDING LOVE IN HER 50s, AND WHY LIFE IS FOR LIVING...
DENISE WELCH is drinking instant coffee in her kitchen, an electric fan wafting in her face. “These menopausal hot flushes!” she cries.
“My husband wants the heating on, but I’m sitting here sweating, this fan follows me around the house.”
Frank, funny, and frequently dropping the ‘F’ word, there are no airs and graces with Denise.
Her Shaker-style cream kitchen, opening onto a leafy decking area, befits someone who’s been a household name for three decades, but it’s also relaxed and homely.
Husband Lincoln’s colourful art adorns the walls, pans are piled on the draining board, and clothes hang drying in the corner.
“I’m not remotely house proud,” Denise cheerfully shrugs.
At 62, the former Corrie star’s trademark candour has long made her a hit on Loose Women. Now she’s revealing even more of herself with a book bravely detailing her battle with clinical depression – first triggered postnatally in 1989 – which she dubs her ‘Unwelcome visitor’.
“It wasn’t easy to write it, and reading it aloud for the audio book was very emotional,” she admits. “It meant revisiting places I’d have preferred not to. At times I felt very sorry for that person I was.
“I’ve done some good things in my life and I’ve been known for some bad things, but if I can help other people, or change how depression is perceived with this book, then I’ll die happy.”
It was in
September 2019 when Denise – an outspoken advocate for mental health – shared online a series of brutally raw videos of herself in the midst of a depressive episode.
Tearfully, she explained how even showering and being in the company of loved ones was a real struggle, how life felt drained of colour.
“As I share all my celebratory news with my social media gang, I felt I had a duty of care to share when it’s f***ing horrible, too. I just picked up my phone and did it. I had no idea of the overwhelming impact it would make. When I got well again I realised it had 1.5 million views. I was blindsided. “Hundreds of people reached out and said, ‘Thank you. This is me.’ “People look at a famous person and think, ‘What have they got to feel depressed about?’ Or they always ask a depressed person, ‘What do you think has brought this on?’ You want to shout, ‘Nothing has f***ing brought this on – this is who I am.’ “It’s a clinical condition, a chemical brain imbalance. It’s the most crippling, isolating and potentially terminal illness that you have to persuade people that you have, because it’s invisible. We need to change how people view depression.”
Today, happily, Denise is the picture of health. She spent lockdown at home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, with her artist hubby Lincoln Townley, 47.
Her two sons meanwhile – The 1975 pop star Matty, 31, and actor Louis, 19, from her first marriage to Tim Healy – isolated together at Matty’s country recording studio.
“It was just us two for 10 weeks, cocooned in a little bubble. Lincoln and I joke that our lockdown life was no different to normal as we don’t really like going out any more, we’re happy staying in with each other.”
The couple wed in 2013, but there’s no sign of the dreaded seven-year itch. They both starred in hit YouTube series Dun Breedin’ over lockdown, with their celeb mates, filmed on their phones, and Denise is full of praise for her younger man.
“I am so lucky that Lincoln loves me and supports me, despite him having no previous experience of depression. I am grateful to have found such a great love in my 50s, I never expected to.
“Of course we row sometimes. Lincoln doesn’t like being told he’s ever wrong, go figure, and he never manages to get his underpants into the wash basket.
“But he is my anchor. And I am his.”
Denise’s battles with booze over the years are well-documented.
It was Lincoln, filming her while drunk and arguing furiously and banging doors, who ultimately spurred her to quit. They have both celebrated eight years sober.
“Alcohol ruined my life for 15 years, my biggest regret is not giving it up sooner. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a glass of wine to take the edge off, but surviving lockdown sober wasn’t especially a challenge.
“I always keep a bottle in the fridge for friends. I don’t want to be the drink police, there’s nothing nicer than having a couple of glasses of fizz with girlfriends. But so many people don’t have that relationship with alcohol.
“When you remember the hangover more than the night out, when you’re suffering anxiety, when you can’t remember who you’ve offended, that’s when you have a problem. Only you can decide when it’s time. Same with giving up smoking, which I did six years ago.
“Domestic abuse, violence, depression and anxiety are all fuelled by alcohol, and yet we all seem to celebrate ‘wine o’clock’.”
Denise remains on great terms with her ex, Tim, 68. In fact, the Auf Wiedersehen, Pet star was the first to read her book.
“Tim was always there for me. We were together for 24 years and have two wonderful children. He had the right to take things out of the book but he didn’t. He texted me after reading it saying, ‘I’m proud of you’.”
Tim also got remarried, to Joan, in 2015, and they’ve all spent blended family Christmases together with the kids and Lincoln’s son Lewis, 28.
“We’re not the poster couple for divorce, and we’re not in each other’s pockets, it took time to get to this stage,” insists Denise.
“We remained friends because we’re fond of each other, Tim put something on social media about watching a bee being better than daytime telly, which Lincoln ‘liked’.
“I said, ‘Oi you two, I’m on daytime telly!’ We all get on but are respectful that we’re both married to other people. But it’s lovely that we can stand together and share in our children’s successes.”
Like any mum, Denise is fiercely proud of her sons, up-and-coming actor Louis shares her agent, and she went to Coachella, the big music festival in California, to see The 1975’s Matty – who has overcome a heroin addiction – perform.
She candidly admits there are feelings of “guilt and shame” about her parenting during the addictive years.
“I want to go back to being the person I am now when Matthew was young. I’m having therapy to try and sort out my issues with regret about some of the decisions I made when the children were small.”
Now, her relationship with both boys is great. Louis has returned home and Matty has just got a new Cane Corso puppy called Mayhem.
“I can’t wait to look after my ‘grand dog’. He’s small now but he’ll be massive, the size of a Great Dane!”
As we wrap up the chat, Denise’s next appointment is with her personal trainer. At 5ft 4in and a size 12, she successfully shed the 2st she gained after quitting booze led to food bingeing instead. And she wants to keep it off.
“As you get older you start putting weight around your middle, but I feel better at 62 than I did at 42, because of all the lifestyle changes I’ve made.
“My dad is 83 and still dancing around the garden dressed as Marilyn Monroe for jokey videos. So I try saying, ‘I’m only 62’. After all, life is for living.’
The Unwelcome Visitor: Depression and How I Survive It by Denise Welch (left) is out now, published by Hodder & Stoughton, RRP £16.99.