Mourning the ‘lost year’ of care home residents
Families say new rules on visiting loved ones are too little, too late as months without contact take their toll
FAMILIES of care home relatives have welcomed a new rule allowing two relatives plus a baby to visit - but some have been left grieving for the ‘lost year’ with their loved one.
Tomorrow, the government will ease restrictions so that care home residents in England will be able to receive two, named regular face-toface visitors - up from one allowed at present.
Also, babies and children under the age of two will be able to accompany visitors, so grandparents can meet grandchildren born during lockdown.
For many relatives, this is the moment they have been waiting for and it’s a time of celebration.
But some families believe the move, which comes 13 months after the start of the pandemic, has come too late, or doesn’t go far enough.
Over the last year, many residents have suffered deteriorating health, exacerbated by the lack of contact with loved ones.
Doreen Sutton, 91, is among them and tragically, her family feel they have ‘already lost her.’
Like thousands of other residents, Doreen, from Eccles, spent the last year in lockdown without a hug from her family - and she’s now in hospital after her dementia worsened to the extent that her home in Salford can no longer care for her needs.
Prior to the pandemic, daughter Lynne Hughes and her family would take Doreen out for coffee, walks, and to watch the barges.
Since then, says Lynne, she’s been ‘trapped.’
Lynne, 53, who lives in Wigan, said: “The last time I held my mum was in March 2020. I feel like we’ve already lost her. We had pod visits but she couldn’t really see us and the walkie talkies wouldn’t work properly. She thought she’d done something wrong.
“We feel we’ve been robbed of this time with my mum, it’s just heartbreaking. She’s never met her great-great grandchildren, she’s missed so much.
“Why weren’t there at least garden visits? She craves love and she’s been robbed of it.”
Lynne is not alone. Marion Panzica’s family begged throughout lockdown for more access - and like Doreen, she’s now in hospital so her family won’t be able to visit on Monday.
Marion, 82, has leukemia and suffers from the lung condition COPD. It’s suspected she has the first signs of dementia.
During lockdown, Marion’s family say, she became despondent, confused, and could no longer recall the name of her beloved great-grandson.
Since Marion’s daughter Lisa started face-to-face visits last month, Marion’s condition had begun to improve, but she now has pneumonia.
Now
Claire, from Saddleworth, and her family are awaiting her return to the care home in Droylsden so she can meet her eightmonth-old grandaughter Sienna in person for the first time.
Although grateful to be appointed Marion’s ‘second visitor,’ Claire admits she and her family feel short-changed by the strict government rules on visiting during lockdown.
She added: “The staff were able to work there and go home and then who knows what they were doing?
“I feel like the residents are our family so of course we would have been careful. I would have taken tests, stayed at home if I had to.
“Considering it’s been 13 months, the government could have done more.
“I believe we should be able to take her out - and we should have been able to long ago.
“If I didn’t have a baby I’d have just brought her to live with me.
“I believe that if my nana had been able to see her family she would be better than she is.”
Other relatives are pleased with how restrictions are being lifted gradually.
Laura Hope is granddaughter to Rhoda Piggott, who suffers from dementia.
During the last year, a lack of family contact due to government restrictions has taken a toll on Rhoda’s mental health, who before the pandemic was visited by her daughter Ivy Griffiths, 60, six times a week for four hours at a time.
When care homes opened up for face-toface visits last month, Ivy and Rhoda were overjoyed to be reunited at Failsworth’s Acorn Lodge.
From tomorrow, Laura will also be able to visit.
She said: “It’s perfect for me, it’s restrictive for my brothers but it will work. We can take the tests at home and we are happy.
“She’s been doing so much better since my mum has been visit
The last time I held my mum was in March 2020. I feel like we’ve already lost her Lynne Hughes, whose mum Doreen has dementia
ing. She even got to spend her birthday with her when she turned 83 and life just feels like it’s getting back to normal.”
Some care home bosses, meanwhile - many of whom have been through the hardest working year of their lives - are happy to take a more cautious approach as the country takes its first tentative steps out of lockdown.
Colette Grace is matron at The Coppice Nursing Home in Oldham.
She said: “This is a very crucial moment for us in nursing homes because everything is going to go haywire and numbers will rocket.
“I don’t think people are sticking to the guidelines out there and I think we will see another peak before this is over.
“Although we welcome opening up and our residents having visitors, I’m going to take every precaution to keep this home safe.
“All the staff and residents have had two vaccines but they are still vulnerable. Some family members are still choosing to see them through the window to prevent the risk.”
Colette and her team have started to facilitate visits from single family members, with plans to allow two family members in from next week.
“It’s been a very testing year. Our workload has tripled, it’s been very stressful,” she said.
“The residents and staff are paramount to me, and the safety of my home is my priority.
“We’ve all pulled together as a team but it’s been very very hard to keep morale up. Staff are going home, coming to work, restricting their movements because they work here. Well done to the staff, the carers are the backbone.”
Matthew Callaghan, who runs Bowfell House in Urmston, welcomed the lifting of restrictions for what it means for relatives - but foresees issues with the limited number.
“It’s largely great-grandchildren we’re talking about and they might not belong to the two consistent visitors so that might not work in some cases.”
He said the set-up was also logistically challenging - and had a financial impact, but added: “I’m not complaining because it’s money well spent allowing families to reconnect.”
Judy Downie, from the Relatives and Residents Association, said their helpline has been inundated with calls from relatives whose parents or partners no longer recognise them. She also says the government rules have, and continue to be, too strict.
She said: “It’s been unconscionable - some people in prisons have more rights.
“We are lost for words because they are implying things are relaxed but it’s absolutely up to individual homes and some might have the goodwill but not the facilities.
“The government should have done more earlier.
“I don’t understand why from Monday I can go to a pub garden
but if my mother was still alive and I wanted to take her, she’d be put in solitiary for 14 days after that.”
She said 70pc of care home residents have hearing loss, and this, often combined with a dementia diagnosis, has left residents scared by masks, plastic screens and lack of contact, adding: “Some people stopped visiting because it’s torture for residents who don’t know what’s going on.
“It’s not humane, it’s not decent. We despair. The people who need the most are suffering the most.”
What the Department for Health and Social Care say: “We understand contact with family and friends is central to the health and wellbeing of residents, and we are doing everything we can to provide safe opportunities to meet.
“As part of the roadmap out of lockdown we have updated guidance for care homes to support residents to enjoy out of care home visits in the safest way possible, while also providing more opportunities for visits to take place in care homes.
“When the data shows it is safe, the government wants to go even further and allow more visits to take place.”