I lost two babies – and felt ashamed
A MUM has described the ‘shame’ and ‘embarrassment’ she felt after losing two babies just months apart.
Natalie Roberts was eight weeks pregnant when she suffered her first miscarriage in late 2019.
The 31-year-old was able to conceive not long after – but had a second miscarriage just three months later at 13 weeks pregnant.
Natalie, from Sale, haemorrhaged and began bleeding heavily. She was rushed to
A&E to have an emergency operation to remove the foetus from her womb.
While she was devastated to lose two babies in such a short space of time, the overriding emotion Natalie felt was embarrassment – and that she couldn’t talk about what had happened to her.
She said: “I felt shameful that I couldn’t carry my babies for whatever reason, and if my partner told X, Y or Z I would be really annoyed. That was my overriding emotion – you don’t see it presented as being normal.
“Everyone reacts different. There will be women trying for a baby for a long time who will take the loss a lot harder. I didn’t want to talk about it, it felt like a taboo. Because they were quite close together, it caught me off guard. The second miscarriage was really traumatic and led to me having a change of mindset in my life.
“The thought that I was going to die crossed my mind in that situation. I wasn’t aware those types of things can happen when you lose a baby, it’s brushed under the carpet. “When I came round after my operation, the midwife came over and said: ‘You’re young, it happens, you’ll be fine.’ It made me feel like it was something I couldn’t talk about.
“With the first one, obviously I was sad but got over it quite quickly. For it to happen again, that’s what hit me the hardest. I didn’t expect it to happen twice. I thought I would have one blip and I would be done.”
Natalie later went on to have a baby boy, who she named Raife. She now lives in Stockton Heath, Warrington, with her five-year-old daughter Anaya and partner Rhys.
She is now raising funds for a charity carrying out research into the causes of miscarriage, still birth and premature birth.
Natalie said: “I wanted to ensure I broke the taboo on baby loss and use the opportunity to raise money for Tommy’s charity.”