‘THEY’RE LIKE CONDOMS WITH HOLES IN’
Vanessa rides a KTM off-road, a Harley-Davidson on it, and believes that shoddy riding jeans pretending to be protective are seriously dangerous
With the development of stronger, lighter and more flexible materials, riding jeans have taken the motorcycle clothing market to a whole new place in recent years. I love being able to jump on the bike in full protection without having to be stuck in leathers all day.
But the protective quality of some of the gear on the market really makes me mad. A few of the companies jumping on the bandwagon should be seriously ashamed of themselves. ‘Why?’ you might be thinking? I recently tried on a pair from one of the cheaper brands and they honestly felt incredible. Almost like normal skinny, stretchy jeans but with added protection. They moved with me, flexed, hugged my bum and looked ace. But once I started analysing them I realised that they would only protect me in certain ‘high impact’ areas. Which basically means that if, heaven forbid, you do come off and go sliding down the road, you need to make sure the only parts that touch the tarmac are your knees and bum. Yeah, right. Research shows that in an average motorcycle accident it takes approximately 28 metres for you to stop. That’s further than the length of a tennis court. During this time, you’ll probably be flapping and flailing about, you might even be unconscious and limp like an understuffed ragdoll. I can guarantee that you won’t be thinking ‘oooh, I must make sure I slide on my bum or knees’ as you gracelessly vault the car that just pulled out on you. It’s like those ‘Kids on board’ car signs you see in the back of mumsy cars. Seriously, they’re not going to make someone suddenly pause midaccident and go ‘oh, there are kids on board, I’d best not hit that one’. As humans we naturally shed skin, but nothing speeds up the process faster than friction. Wearing gear that offers full leg protection can save your skin, but like great marketing such as ‘healthy ice cream,’ some brands would rather do a great job of lulling us into a false sense of security than deliver what they’re claiming. Wrapping up a ‘great deal’, slapping on a flashy tagline and topping it with a lower price tag is easier.
Riding jeans rock when they’re fully lined and done right, but if we’re not careful we’re putting our skin on the line. Literally. Some of these riding jeans are about as much use as a condom boasting to have an ‘air flow management system’ because they’ve got ventilation holes.